So being bald isn't exactly a profession, but neither is killing turtles, unless you're a poacher. So Mario's probably a poacher, actually.

We digress. Every major video game character needs to go through a reboot at one point or another, and Mario's overalls are so '80s. Shaving his head and iconic cookie duster might give Mario the edge he needs to appeal to all those ritalin-soaked young minds out there. He should probably start wearing an eye patch, too, and playing guitar. Kids like that crap, right?