When we were first introduced to vampire Bill Compton’s (Stephen Moyer) maker and former lady, Lorena (Mariana Klaveno), she was luring dying soldiers into her house, baiting them with sex, and hanging their severed noggins on her wall like moose heads—all in attempts to find love, of course.

While wholesome patriot Bill didn’t succumb to her, uh, charms right off the bat, a little draining of his blood and turning him into a killing machine like her finally made him see the error of his ways. After centuries of traveling the world, feeding and screwing (not a bad life, if you ask us), though, sassy waitress Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) entered the picture and shot everything to hell.

Despite her best assassination and kidnapping attempts (not to mention some head-twisting sex), there was no seizing the spotlight back from Bill’s new lady of choice, or his boring new path of righteousness. That's okay, Lorena. We’d still do bad things with you."