6. Cats Are Friends

We'd rather have a gun pointed at us than get mixed up with the feral cats forged in the depths of vacant lots. When a cat ambles up to the stoop for a friendly head pat, we just assume it’s a trap. Then we're already surrounded, holding a one way ticket to cat scratch fever.

These friendo cats know the score. They seen lolcats. Watched a few episodes of Garfield and Friends. Make a cute face, stretch, get slightly sarcastic, and wait for the fanciest of feasts.