Despite being a little short, and a little round, Mario’s a pretty good looking guy. There may not be a ton of cute girls in the Mushroom Kingdom to test this against, but Princess Peach always wants him to eat her cake. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when it comes to Wario’s looks, except they hit every ugly stick on the way down. Crooked nose, creepily rigid mustache, and a waistline at least a few inches wider make Wario a poor comparison to his cousin. But, even without his sloppy appearance, Wario isn’t likely to be winning any hearts with his constant belching and farting. He may ride a really sexy motorcycle, but I doubt you could convince anyone to sit behind a butt capable of atomic-level destruction.