The Mercer ($$$$)
Andre Balazs’ downtown digs are every bit as stylish as his Meatpacking property, but in contrast to the Standard’s countless bells and whistles, the elegance here is in the simplicity. Remember how we said the Ace Loft was like your rich-ass friend’s apartment? Well, these spaces are on some Architectural Digest shit. The light-flooded rooms deliver big with high ceilings, loft-like spaciousness, Egyptian cotton sheets, and tubs big enough to fit you and your lady—or whoever. Various rooms come with various perks; some offer exposed brick, some overlook bamboo courtyards (who doesn’t love that?), and some even have their own wood burning fire places, if you’re game to spend upward of a grand (or 3K for the Soho Suite; Courtyard Rooms start at $525). However, should this start seeming like too grown-up a locale for you, we’ve got good news: Guitar Hero, Wii, and Xbox 360 are all available upon request. Massage therapists are, as well, in the event you’ve built up tension from all those “Killer Queen” attempts.