10. J.G. Melon

Address: 1291 3rd Ave.
Website: n/a

Proper thickness, you feel us? Don't get the wrong idea, though—we're still talking burgers. Specifically the meaty slabs served perfectly cooked (meaning a bit bloody) at this Upper East Side institution. Melon's classic status extends back to the early '70s—check out the décor—and their burger comes to you bearing all the expertise accumulated over those four decades. The amount of juice released with each bite demands a tall stack of napkins or else you'll have grease down to your elbows. Be careful with the bun. It starts out chewy and delicious, embarrassing the hell out of those joints that stick to bland McDonald's-style cappers, but if you're lackadaisical with your chomping, you might end up with sopping bread plastered around your patty like papier-mâché. Eat fast, die young.