REMAKE: BREAKIN’: TEACH ME HOW TO DOUGIE

Teen dance movies are all the rage these days, but none of them can compare to the original badass boogie, 1984's Footloose, starring Kevin Bacon as an aggro-dancing city boy who moves to a small religious town where hip-shaking and rock music have been banned by a conservative city council. The idea is getting a bit of an update with director Craig Brewer's (Hustle And Flow, Black Snake Moan) coming remake, set in a world where white Southern kids can love rap as much as they love line dancing.

Country flavor is cool but you know what the kids really love: anything "urban." Just writing the word is kinda scary and thrilling! 1984's Breakin' got at the heart of this sensation with a story about an unsuccessful white jazz dancer (Lucinda Dickey) who meets two decidedly, um, urban break-dancers and creates a crazy hybrid of the forms that makes them all the shiznit. For the remake, we're picturing wild child of the streets Jaden Smith teaching a ballerina, played by the preciously white Elle Fanning, how to add a little concrete jungle boogie to her échappés and changements. Sound a little too much like 2001's Save The Last Dance, starring Julia Stiles as a ballerina in the hood? Seriously, since when do kids know anything older than the last five minutes of their Twitter timeline?