7. You Looted Home Depot
What else do people do when heinous natural disaster strikes? At least you went with the practical choice. No nicking plasma screens for you. No, you only took what you'd need to rebuild this mixed up world in the wake of disaster (well, that and that faux fern you've had your eye on since April). You thought only of your community as you strapped on five tool belts and holstered two nail guns. And caulk! That'll totally fix the gaping hole in the street...once that gaping hole actually appears.