4. The ‘60s or 60 Seconds Ago

If it’s not a deep cut from Odessey & Oracle, then it’s probably the latest Katy Perry track coming from the jukebox, which contains actual compact discs. But no one will be dancing, or even having much fun. They’ll be complaining that their preferred way of hearing “Firework” is through the bottomed-out speakers in the bodega. Something missing in Perry’s vocals is revealed through the compromised audio devices when you half-listen while contemplating which brand of lemonade will mix best with your smugly enjoyed Colt 45. We’ll spend the next 15 minutes explaining how you should listen to Katy Perry if you have the time.