Watching Every Cutscene
Symptoms: To everyone who skips the cutscenes: we envy you. We know it’s just a stupid interlude. Fluff between the gameplay. So why can’t our thumb connect with the "X" button to skip them? It’s like a lap dance in LA: no touching but we have to keep watching, because we might miss something crucial…right? We’re cheating ourselves out of the full $60 if we miss any of the experience. What’s the point of rushing anyways? And who cares if we’ve already beat the game five times—there's always a chance we missed something!
In Real Life (IRL): Once you stepped out the front door, you’d have to obsessively stop in your tracks to watch everything that happens around you. That lady getting her Starbucks. The guy trying to flag down a cab. You wouldn't be able to leave until each scene is resolved. By the time you get to the office you’re 57 years old. Heck, it’s not even your office anymore.