Right now on DirecTV you can win free Whoppers from Burger King by staring at an image of a spinning Whopper for at least five minutes. Seriously. Go ahead and read that sentence again.
The special promotion is part of a Burger King campaign called Whopper Lust, which apparently rewards Whopper fans with nothing better to do for lengthy displays of slavish devotion. The longer you stare at the image of the spinning Whopper, currently running on DirecTV channel 111, the more Whoppers you win. Periodically, viewers receive arbitrary commands to press specific buttons on their remote to prove they're still paying attention.
Burger King says Americans have already spent over 300,000 minutes watching the Whopper since the campaign began at the start of this week. Of course they have.
