1. D.O.A.: DEAD OR ALIVE (2006)

A cinematic turkey of the highest order, D.O.A.: Dead Or Alive was destined to fail. Let’s run through some of its many problems. One, it was produced by hack extraordinaire Paul W.S. Anderson, who’s only so-so flick, 1997’s Event Horizon, is utterly derivative. Two, it’s based on a video game, and how often do those kinds of movies exceed pure crap? Three, and this is the worst one of all, it’s a fanboy-targeting T&A fest about ass-kicking hotties and it’s rated PG-13. More like “dead on arrival.”

Unless the producers, cast, and crew were all sniffing rocks during post-production, there’s no way they could’ve watched the film in the editing room and expected it to make any box office noise. Thus, they should’ve threw nerdy gamers a bone (in more ways than one) and reshot all of the fight scenes with the sexy actresses (namely Holly Valance and Jaime Pressly) in the buff. “Dills on alert,” anyone?