25. BURLESQUE (2010)

In the case of Burlesque, the simple insertion of nude scenes probably wouldn’t have saved Christina Aguilera’s unsuccessful acting debut from unquestionable wackness. Even if the chicks singing and dancing were showing some nip, the songs would still grate ears, the dialogue wouldn’t sound any less elementary, and a lobotomized human vegetable could still predict the script’s every beat.

Really, Burlesque needed a complete overhaul. The solution we’d have suggested if brought on as consultants: run the screenplay through a paper shredder and start on a whole new one, titled Showgirls 2: Show More. One of these days, some Hollywood studio is going to wise up and join the Complex game.

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