Ultimate Disaster can’t stop Cinco de Mayo.


Alleged judgment day: 5/05/2000

In 1997, Richard Noone, who, according to his bio, is a "Georgia Grand Masters Award winner" (huh?), wrote The Ultimate Disaster and proclaimed that we only had three yeas to live. His crackpot theories were pretty much lost in the sauce due to all of the Y2K hysteria.

Noone wrote that on May 5, 2000, the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn would all align with Earth and the Moon, causing the planet’s axis to get all fucked up and sending ice from the South Pole down, blanketing the rest of the planet. Yep, more crazy planet alignment stuff.

We don’t have to tell you that none of this happened. Everyone proceeded to celebrate their first post-Y2K Cinco de Mayo like they celebrated all their previous ones—by getting very inebriated. We're guessing Noone did the same, for far less celebratory reasons.