So earlier that morning, White Jeans over here watched for the first time the Major Lazer "Pon de Floor" music video. He spent the rest of his daylight hours doing straight Bacardi shots while researching daggering on his hotel's dial-up connection. Point is, dude totally did that on purpose.

Sad epilogue: White Jeans died the next day after leaping from an electrician's ladder in an attempt to land crotch first on the girl in purple hot pants he'd met at Señor Frogs 15 minutes prior. She is fine, currently working as a branch manager at the bank near her 6-year-old's school; she's tells her son he was immaculately conceived.