5. MELISSA GILBERT AS MARIAN IN BLOOD VOWS: THE STORY OF A MAFIA WIFE (1987)

Unless you’re talking about HBO, TV movies have generally fallen below the line of good quality, especially ones aired on non-cable networks. Blood Vows: The Story Of A Mafia Wife, which debuted on NBC to scathing reviews back in 1987, is a prime example.

The sexy Melissa Gilbert, all grown up from her Little House On The Prairie days, starred as a love-struck woman who marries a successful attorney and thinks everything’s all good. After the vows are exchanged, though, she learns that her new husband comes from a mafia family, and her in-laws soon involve her in their illegal business.

Imagine if Mario Puzo got a lobotomy and then wrote a Lifetime movie just to pay off his medical bills. And then deflate his script of any and all narrative weight. Voila! You’ve got this made-for-TV turkey only notable for Gilbert’s looks.