One could only wish that Francis Ford Coppola or Martin Scorsese had an urge to dabble in reality television. Under the proper creative control, an exposé-style program about mobsters and their private lives could be riveting. Unfortunately, since neither master of mafia cinema is hard-up enough to resort to entertainment’s lowest form of storytelling, we’ll have to settle for VH1’s new real-life show Mob Wives, which premieres this Sunday night.

No, it’s not a reboot of Bravo’s Real Housewives Of New Jersey—hasn’t the Garden State suffered enough shame thanks to reality TV? VH1 must’ve thought so, since Mob Wives centers on four Staten Island women, all of whom are taking care of families while their respective mobster husbands and fathers sit behind bars.

If even one of the featured ladies looked as good as any of the following 10 Hottest Mob Wives in Movies and TV, we’d already have our DVR’s set to record. But, alas, VH1 dropped the ball. So, if you’re literally a wise guy, you’ll spend time getting to know these fictional mafia queens instead.