If you've ever been afraid of your girlfriend's dad, you were probably overreacting. Even if he's a huge, ominously quiet Army colonel who invites you duck hunting at 4 a.m. on Thanksgiving. Because unless you are dating Robert Salyer's stepdaughter, your girlfriend's dad has not cut off your lip with a samurai sword.

Here's what the Houston Press says happened:

Police arrived last Thursday to find Salyer and the blood-covered boyfriend shouting in the front yard. The younger man told police that he had been arguing with his girlfriend in their bedroom when Salyer asked him to leave. 

According to the Corpus Christi Caller-Times, when the boyfriend refused, Salyer kicked in the door, and hi-ya!, cold Tamahagane steel flashed through the warm Coastal Bend night. To perdition went some of the lip that had been shattering the peace of Robert Salyer's nocturnal warrior meditations.

So yeah, you can probably stop complaining about your future in-laws now.

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