First off, let's acknowledge the fact that Twilight "heartthrob" Taylor Lautner's teen-centric action flick Abduction is directed by John Singleton. Yes, the same guy who once made Boyz N The Hood. Can you say "paycheck"?

Abduction looks like it was planned in a boardroom meeting full of middle-aged folks running through a list of things they assume will attract audiences from ages 10 to 22.

You've got Lautner swerving through each clip with a cute female lead (The Blind Side's Lily Collins), running away from bad guys, dodging explosives, and dry humping his chick while a train blows up. It's like a smorgasbord of action movie clichés.

We don’t necessarily have anything against your boy Taylor Lautner; in interviews, he seems like a humble dude still living with his parents. But his acting, as seen in this trailer, sucks. 

One thing is certain, though: This will make Lionsgate a ton of money. For now, we’ll reserve additional criticism until after movie’s release on September 23.