As we assemble this list, "softcore beastilty 420" (sic) has 185 views. We're guessing that this is a variety of that guy you haven't encountered either. Think back to the worst moments in high school or college, times when your eyes were like marbles in your head, blind and glassy because of all the shots. Not to mention how tough it was to see in those dark basements, the ones with low ceilings and puddles in corners that could have been pipe drip, urine, mostly liquid vomit, or any combination of those, basements where the all the lights save one had been unscrewed to better facilitate random sex and face-kissing, groping and dry-humping—even thought it's difficult, think back to those moments: Do you ever remember someone standing out because he was sexually assaulting a pet?

It would've stood out, say, if you wandered into the kitchen, looking to raid this stranger's cupboards for a loaf of bread or a really interested magnet, and instead you found a dude belly-down on the linoleum with his face buried in the underside of a striped tabby? Nuzzling the underbelly like a hyena dipping into the newly hollowed-out guts of a zebra. You'd remember that. Even blacked out like the windows in a war-torn city your subconscious would take crazy mental notes reminding you to avoid this guy next time you saw him coming near. You'd have filed and enforced the restraining order the only functioning part of your brain just drew up. Because here's a guy, who with his thing for cat molestation, is using up all the interaction with a living creature he's been allotted for this lifetime.

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