5. KELLY BROOK AND RILEY STEELE IN PIRANHA 3D (2010)Not for one second does Alexandre Aja’s gratuitously over-the-top horror blast Piranha 3D take itself seriously, which is a great thing. For some, the flick’s most tell-tale sign of ridiculousness is the sight of Jerry O’Connell’s knob being chomped off by one of the bloodthirsty creatures and spit at the screen. On our end, that just made us upchuck our popcorn.
Besides, our realization that Piranha 3D basks in its own absurdity first came during a much earlier sequence: the naked underwater ballet. Haven’t seen the movie but are intrigued by that description? You’ll have to rent the thing, then, because it’s extremely NSFW. Here’s a tease, though: abnormally hot model Kelly Brook and porn star Riley Steele (seen above) take their bikini tops off, jump into the ocean, and swim in choreographed patterns together, fondling each other and kissing to boot.
Just because he’s looking out for every male filmgoer smart enough to watch his movie, Aja drags the sequence out longer than it really needs to be, but who cares? The French director slows the camera down and sets the glorious visuals to classical opera music, giving the smutty non-sequitur an elegance that’s hilariously inappropriate. We salute you, Mr. Aja.