When one thinks of mermaids, chances are that the fish-ladies are gorgeous specimens, looking like men’s magazine models from the waist up. But something tells us that if we were to ever come across a real-life mermaid, it’d be a scary, not sensual experience. Think about it: It’s a half-human, half-fish monster from the depths of the sea. Just imagine how ugly your kids would be.

So give fiction writers and filmmakers a hand for perpetuating the myth that mermaids are all beautiful hybrids seeking male affection. Some might choose Ariel (if they’re into lusting after animated chicks), but we’re more partial to Daryl Hannah in director Ron Howard’s fantastical romantic comedy Splash. After seeing Hannah in underwater action for the first time, we briefly considered following in Jacques Cousteau’s professional footsteps. But then it dawned on us that deep sea exploration would teach us about actual fish and not hot blondes with flippers for legs. And that just sounds way too educational.

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