We never knew how much we missed the Taco Bell dog until Disney’s grating Beverly Hills Chihuahua, which is basically Lady And The Cholo.

George Lopez, who’s not even funny as a human, voices Papi, a precocious little pooch who says things like “I’m here to protect you, mi Corazon” to his chica, Chloe (voiced by Drew Barrymore), and can’t do anything without low-rent mariachi music playing in the background. By nature, Chihuahuas are annoying dogs, with their high-pitched yaps and Napoleon complex; degrading one of them with Lopez’s flat humor and a cast of people (including Piper Perabo and Jamie Lee Curtis) who look about ready to strangle their agents once it’s time to hit the craft service table.

Proving that parents will do anything to get their kids out of the house, Beverly Hills Chihuahua spent two weeks atop the box office in October 2008. Apparently Disney execs felt guilty after that—Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 went straight to DVD last month. Mucho frio!

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