What’s the only college in the US that would accept an application in which the "Describe Yourself" section contains the phrase “witch who slaughters angels”? Let’s think about that one for a secBERKELEY. Aside from the progressive nudists preaching about left-wing Wiccan political issues, there’s also the creepy-ass woods surrounding the campus and dorms.  Last time we walked near those trees, we saw the Blair Witch playing beer pong on a TA’s carcass.