10. Pretend to be super-macho.

Learned from: Tommy Boy (1995)
Complex says: The second a guy signs up for a gym membership, there’s only one thing on his mind: After a few months here, I’ll be banging chicks left and right! There’s nothing wrong with that, since most people, females included, are superficial (not that we’re bitter or anything). Dedicate some hard time inside the weight room and you’ll have earned both immense self-respect and the adoration of swimsuit-calendar-worthy hotties; hit the gym once and then turn back to strict cheeseburger diets, however, and you’ll be forced to once again woo ladies with your natural charms (yikes). As the late, and great, Chris Farley learns in the above clip, gorgeous broads can see right through you.