22. ANTONIO BANDERAS AS AHMED IBN FAHDLAN IN THE 13TH WARRIOR (1999)

El Mariachi playing a sword-wielder from Baghdad? No, sir—we couldn’t buy it then, and nothing has changed 12 years later. Not to pigeonhole the man (Pause?), but Banderas makes such a cool Mexican badass in Robert Rodriguez’s free-wheeling Desperado films that it’s impossible to buy him in this haughty, and ultimately shitty, Viking picture. The 13th Warrior rests uncomfortably in the annals of lowest-common-denominator historical epics, the same area in which Channing Tatum’s The Eagle has already secured residential placement.