5 Reasons The Golden Globe Nominations Are Racist

REASON #5: Johnny Depp (above) received not one but two "Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy" nominations for Alice in Wonderland and The Tourist. Sure, he's part Cherokee, but that's the part producers remove in post-production.

REASON #4: While The Big C's Gabourey Sidibe (above) was snubbed, Frankie and Alice's Halle Berry and Modern Family's Sofia Vergara both got nominated—for "Colored Actress White Male Voters Most Want To Try To Fetish Fuck At A Golden Globe Awards Party." Oh, that's not what their nominations read? We must need some stronger lenses.

REASON #3: The closest thing you'll find to the original man in any of the films nominated for "Best Animated Feature Film" is Mr. Potato Head (above) in Toy Story 3. And you know the HFPA considers that a concession.

REASON #2: You can find out more about the films nominated for "Best Motion Picture, Drama" (Black Swan, The Fighter, Inception, The King's Speech, and The Social Network) at #whitepeopleproblems.

REASON #1: With so few black and Latino nominees, the HFPA pitted Édgar Ramírez (Carlos, above right) and Idris Elba (Luther, above left) against each other for the "Best Actor in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television" award. Divide and conquer—that's the oldest trick in the white man's book!