Hola! As those of you with a calendar worth a turd know, not only is today Mexican Independence Day, but it also marks the beginning of Hispanic Heritage Month in the United States. Now you may be asking yourselves: Why begin a heritage month on the 15th? Turns out there are competing stories: one goes that its founders actually planned to start the month on September 1st, and set off from their homes that very morning to get the accreditation completed at the national heritage month office in downtown Phoenix. Only by the time they actually got there—after being pulled over numerous times for having four tires, driving the speed limit, and "lookin', y'know, illegal"—it was already the 15th. The other says that President Reagan was suffering from Alzheimer's and using the Julian calendar when he enacted the month in 1988. We're going with the latter. But regardless of how it came to be, HHM is here, and we couldn't be more ecstatico. We could give you a list of our 50 favorite pupusa fillings or our 50 favorite banda songs or our 50 least favorite Che Guevara t-shirts, but we'll leave those to the experts (although the last sounds right up our alley). Instead, we kick off the fiesta with a list that translates in any language, the 50 Hottest Latinas. Get to clickin', compadre!
Compiled by Danilo Parrales
RELATED: Funniest Sex Scenes in Movies
RELATED: Sexiest Terry Richardson Photo Shoots
RELATED: 40 Sexiest Celebrity Instagrams
Carolina Ardohain
An Argentine supermodel/TV personality, Carolina is shorter than most models and has admitted to feeling self-conscious about her height. Fortunately, she's compensated by being hotter than anyone she's ever met/known/been within 500 miles of in her entire life. She is also more than tall enough to ride the innuendo ride. Winkwinknudgenudge.
April Hernandez
A stand-up comedian/actress/possible coolest around-the-way-chick ever, April is also a self-described "proud Latina" which means (among other things) lots of Z-finger snapping and head wobbling during arguments. She was inspired by John Leguizamo to drop out of college, which is an impressive thing to do when you actually have talent. When you don't, well, that's the rest of us.
Raquel Roxanne Diaz
Aida Yespica
Aida Yespica is a Venezuelan beauty queen now based in Italy where she models, stars in reality shows, strips on talk shows, and, of course, gets hit on by the prime minister. She's had a football soccer player's baby, but she's most famous for her 90-60-90 measurements. If you're unfamiliar with the metric system that might sound like a recipe for a girl with type 2 diabetes, but, as you can see, Aida is quite healthy. Also, for what it's worth, "90-60-90 revienta (to burst) it" rhymes in Spanish.
Mirtha Michelle
Belgica Suarez
Constitutional crises are bad enough when a nation's Supreme Court has the president arrested, but it gets really rough when the country's Miss Universe nominating contest gets cancelled. That's what happened last year in Honduras; luckily, the beauty pageant crisis was averted when the organizers simply picked Belgica and nobody could really complain. Democracy is so overrated.
Ana Claudia Talancon
Gaby Espino
Gaby's starred in a bunch of tv shows and movies in her native Venezuela, but it was almost not to be. She started out wanting to be veterinarian, then a people doctor and later an odontologist. Well, forensic dentistry's loss is masturbation's gain! Wait, did we actually just say that?
Ximena Zamora
New Zealand has Xena Warrior Princess, Ecuador has Ximena, beauty queen-ternt-news anchor. You might be surprised to learn that there are Ecuadorians living outside Queens (like Ecuador), but they do. And, no shots to Lucy Lawless, they don't have to wear chain mail and a sword to work!
Paloma Fiuza
Paloma is a talented Brazilian beauty who's now a star in Ecuador. In 2008 she won that country's version of Dancing with the Stars, but that might've been expected as she's a classically trained ballet dancer. Now what does Ecuador see in her? A beautiful smile and an amazing body, perhaps? Weirdos!
Stephanie Cayo
Fernanda Tavares
It is now time to reach out to all the animal lovers in our audience and bring you Fernanda Tavares, an accomplished Brazilian supermodel who has also worked with PETA in their anti-fur campaigns. Problem is, she's responsible for some pretty extensive deforestation as well. Kleenex comes from trees, right?
Julissa Bermudez
A D.R.-born, Queens-raised Dominicana, Julissa is best known for co-hosting 106 & Park, which makes her the girl that made us realize that Free and A.J. leaving was so not a big deal. Recently she hosted the Jersey Shore Season 1 reunion and was able to fight off the advances from the male cast, which makes her a very smart, hygienic, and STD-free girl. She starred this year in something called Harlem Hostel which is, sadly, a comedy, and not the Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood installment of the Hostel horror flick franchise.
Alicia Machado
Some people live such exciting lives. Alicia's been a Miss Universe (1996), called an "eating machine" by none other than Donald Trump (after she gained weight during her Universe reign), and had her engagement with a pro baseball player (Bobby Abreu) called off after she was filmed having sex on a reality show. And then there's the part about being the first Miss Universe to pose nude (for Playboy). And all along she's been hot (very, very, very hot).
Pilar Montenegro
An actress and singer, Pilar's been a pillar of the Spanish pop scene since the ’90s. She's a genuine person (so we hear) and great to look at (so we know), and her 2001 single "Quitame Ese Hombre" spent 13 weeks at the top of Billboard's Hot Latin Tracks chart. Note to Billboard: when it comes to Pilar, "Hot Latin" is redundant.
Yasmin Deliz
Yasmin is a reggaeton singer and VJ on the Latin music channel mun2, as well as the star of The Chicas Project, a reality show where she and another VJ go around doing girly stuff like looking hot. She also appeared in a New Kids on the Block video, and no, that's not the only thing we'd like to hold against her.
Valeria Mazza
Dayana Mendoza
Dayana was crowned Miss Universe 2008 (one more for Venezuela) and got to travel the world during her reign. One of her visits was to Guantanamo Bay detention camp, after which she courted somee controversy by blogging about how interesting the experience was—sentiments Hugo Chavez did not appreciate. So we now we know that when Chavez isn't hating on America, he's hating on pretty girls.
Ana de la Reguera
You may know Ana from Nacho Libre or various Telemundo telenovelas. You will know Ana as Kenny Powers' Latin love interest in the coming season of Eastbound & Down. OK, before we go any further, are there any more reasons to watch that show?
Carolina Marconi
Dallys Ferreira
Dallys Ferreira is a Paraguayan model who introduced us to the total WTF? awesomeness of combination workout/car wash shows. Our lives will never be the same again.
Gabriella Bo
Gabriela Bo is a Paraguayan socialite-ternt-model most famously known in Latin America for her short marriage to international Mexican singer Christian Castro. Latin America is so demure! Up here, our socialites-ternt-whatevers do sex tapes for publicity!
Jimena Navarrete
Leryn Franco
Elsa Benitez
ELLEGlamourSports Illustrated
Mia Troche
As the World TurnsThe Sopranosshe looks great
Alessandra Blanco
Rosa Acosta
Rosa's been in a bunch of rap videos in the past couple years, most notably as the best there was in Drake's "Best I Ever Had." She appears in said rap videos because she's either a) amazingly beautiful with a body that's out of this world, or b) a world class actor capable of moving along the narrative arc of a three-minute clip without having to even speak a line. Or maybe both! Acosta? Sure we would, but only in the nicest way possible.
Dania Ramirez
Mayra Veronica
Mayra is a model from Cuba; she used to be a ballet dancer but nature gave her a too fine body for that career so she had to move on. The date of her birthday varies from source to source; we thought this was only a Cuban pitcher thing but apparently it's a generalized Cuban one.
Vida Guerra
Vida Guerra's name translates to "Life War," which may or may not refer to her lifetime fight against people underestimating her intellect because of her massive, humongous ass. With a back like that you might think she was born to have rappers throw bills at her while squatting down to sing the hook next to her assserific assets, but you'd be wrong. Just wait until Stephen Hawking comes out with his particle physics examination of her butt, you'll see what we mean.
Odette Yustman
Ninel Conde
Big Brother: Mexicowe
Zoe Saldana
Barbara Mori
Christina Milian
A singer, writer, and actress of Cuban descent, Christina once dated Nick Cannon, who claimed he ended the relationship by cheating on her ’cause it was turning into a "Christian romance." To which we have to ask: Whatta fuck is that all about? Call us crazy but we'd rather have a Christian romance than a 7:30-old-enough-to-be-our-mom one, but to each his own.
Jennifer Lopez
Fly Girl, actress, singer, entrepreneur, no-snitchin' ride-or-die chick: J.Lo has conquered it all and done it all while being the sole custodian of the most talked about booty from the last two decades. When God gives you lemons watermelons, make sure you walk in through life's doors backwards, dig?
Paulina Rubio
Rosario Dawson
Rosario is a very talented Nuyorican actress (and former Complex cover girl!) with roles in many Hollywood films. She also appeared nude in the historical drama/shitfest Alexander, a film we didn't care to see in theaters (or even Netflix). So, being the cheap enterprising New Yorkers we are, we bought a bootleg copy off a toothless giant on the subway, got home, fast-forwarded it to Rosario's nude scene, and, lo and behold, she apparently has blurry, shaky, stuttering boobs. Still a great body, though.
Daisy Fuentes
Emanuela de Paula
GDP growth in America has been sluggish recently, but the worldwide EDP has been on the up and up (and up and up!) for a few years now (as has the GDP in Brazil, get out your Lula hoops!). And as far as geo-politics go, Emanuela represents the future of the world: bi-racial and hot as hell. Of course we can't blame her for the melting ice caps...or can we?!? Paging Senator Inhofe!
Eva Longoria
Roselyn Sanchez
America was first introduced to this Puerto Rican beauty in Rush Hour 2 and she's continued her acting career with a role on Without a Trace. In real life, she's dated actors and salsa singers but no ass-kicking Asians, or she might be higher on this list.
Ana Beatriz Barros
Ana is a Brazilian model known for her work with Guess? and Victoria's Secret. And because she's not an unreliable coke fiend who had to spend time in the slammer this past summer, she got to replace Lindsey Lohan on Fornarina's Spring Summer 2010 campaign. Maybe she'd give an interview if she knows she was gonna be featured on the cover?
Sofia Vergara
Modern Family.
Alessandra Ambrosio
Shakira
Hips don't lie and something tells us that, based on that alone, Shakira Shakira would have more success than Wyclef if she was to run for president of her country. Imagine a country where your leader could break into a belly dance to solve foreign crises? Boycott that!
Eva Mendes
This Miami-born Cuban beauty was once on her way to being a nun. God intervened, though, and put her on a more righteous path, that path being the one where we get to drool over her non-habit-covered body. God is good!
Adriana Lima
Brazil is to hotness what Sarah Palin is to stupidity, and there is nothing more retarded than Adriana Lima's body. And even if she is Muslim (she's never said that she's NOT!), we'd get down with her all day and twice on Ramadan (after the sun goes down, of course).