Noob Tube: When Video Games Become TV Shows

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Noob Tube: When Video Games Become TV Shows

The Legend of Zelda

Years On: 1989

Did It Work? We'll give points for sticking with the game's main storyline: Link, Zelda, Triforces, Ganon, the fate of Hyrule, etc. But we also gotta levy demerits for Link being a smartass Han Solo ripoff. How many times are we supposed to believe a pixie-ish eunuch who sounds like a surfer every time he says "Well, excuuuuuuse me, princess!"? Apparently 29 times, since that's how many times he crammed that tired bullshit into 13 episodes before the show went out like an octorok.

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!

Years On: 1989

Did It Work? We're still not sure if it was a fever dream, but the cartoon was bookended by a real-life Mario and Luigi (played by the late great Captain Lou Albano and some other dude), who ran a plumbing business in Brooklyn and were visited by celebrities from Magic Johnson to Vanna White to Norman fucking Fell. Yes, Mr. Roper kicked it with a a mustachioed Italian caricature, and they called it children's television. What part of the game is that?

The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

Years On: 1993


Did It Work? While Sonic's video game career hasn't popped off, his television credentials check out. In 1993, The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog aired and did pretty well, though it probably could have used some better animation. Just sayin'. Sure, it only lasted a year, but the Sonic the Hedgehog show came shortly after and everyone was satisfied. Other Sonic shows have been picked up since—and, as always, we wish the Blue Ball of Speed good luck in his future endeavors. Even if they're in 3-D.

Mega Man

Years On: 1994-95

Did It Work? Who cares? That intro is CRAZY! In all fairness, the show hewed pretty faithfully to the game; even Dr. Wily's robots were spot-on, and they didn't even bother trying to make Guts Man less pauseworthy. The one thing we had a problem with was Rush, Mega Man's robot dog, who was like a bootleg Scooby Doo...who was himself a bootleg Marmaduke...who was himself a bootleg-ass Clifford the Big Red Dog. WTF is with all these bootleg dogs?

Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?

Years On: 1991-96

Did It Work? For a kids' game show based on educational software? Sure, why not. What really worked, though, was the theme song by a cappella group Rockapella! And by "worked," we mean "wormed itself into our brain with such intensity that it would necessitate therapy 15 years down the road to repair the recurring adult nightmares of cornballs with glass-beaded braided hair doo-wop raping us."

Earthworm Jim

Years On: 1995-96

Did It Work? Yes, yes, a million times yes. Not only was the cartoon faithful to the dope-ass game, but some of the new characters that the show introduced—like Evil Jim—made it into the 1999 game sequel, Earthworm Jim 3D. Also, the show kept Queen Slug-for-a-Butt, and what's fucking with that?

Street Fighter

Years On: 1995-97

Did It Work? Way better than that lame-ass Mortal Kombat: Defenders of the Realm. The whole Guile-is-the-leader-of-a-task-force-called-the-Street-Fighters thing is questionable, though. Attention, writers: calling yourself the Street Fighters is like calling yourself the Hey The Van Buren Boys Could Beat Our Ass Boys.

Pokemon

Years On: 1997-Present


Did It Work? If we were ranking this list according to awesome, then Pokemon would be number one. Most video game shows are cancelled after a year, but you can't front on 13 years on the air, five films, and 652+ episodes. What more proof do you need? Other than your friends clowning you for still playing Pokemon, we mean. Forget that, son, get out there and catch

Donkey Kong Country

Years On:1998-2000


Did It Work? Call us crazy, but we just can

Ray-Man: The Animated Series

Years On:1999-2000


Did It Work? If there is anything that this list shows us, it

Monster Rancher

Years On:1999-2000


Did It Work? First off, let

Digimon

Years On:1999-2007


Did It Work? Hell yeah it did! Digimon had kids optimizing their wrist game (II). Starting from what was basically the same idea as a Tomogachi, Digimon expanded on the game with visual effects that would have kids tuned in to watch their digital monsters come to life every week. Also it almost lasted as long as Pokemon, even though a dearth of good follow-up games meant that Digimon got cut in 2007.

Kirby: Right Back At Ya!

Years On: 2001-03

Did It Work? No. And would you like to know why? It's because they called it Kirby: Right Back At Ya! They could have called it Kirby Is Awesome, Who Doesn't Like Kirby?, or Kirby Robs Bodegas, or even Kirby Molests Kids, and we would have gladly watched it, because Kirby is awesome. But they got on some old Poochie the Dog shit and called it Kirby: Right Back At Ya! What does that mean? Who's right back at ya? Is it Kirby? Is Kirby saying "right back at ya!"? It just raises too many stupid questions is all we're saying.

Viewtiful Joe

Years On:2004- 2005


Did It Work? Viewtiful Joe was robbed of a television career and we

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