mw2oscar
The Oscars might be looming closer and closer, but we find ourselves caring less and less. Sure, we're down to give credit where credit is due, but we're just not in the mood to watch 13 James Cameron bombastic speeches. Or Alec Baldwin's "I'm lampooning Hollywood because it's ridiculous WAIT WAIT PLEASE HIRE ME" schtick. Or Monique's stubble. So instead, we'll be avoiding Billy Bush's vagina stupidity by firing up some Battlefield Bad Company 2, but that doesn't mean we can't still mock the Academy Awards, does it?

So in the interest of actual entertainment, we cooked up the Throaties, our own Complex-approved award bestowed on your mom all those voice actors who bring us so many memorable cut scenes, jokes, and cartoonish accents. They might not be able to thank the little people, but they'll be able to thank us—and that's all that matters. And fuck a Price Waterhouse Cooper, we're announcing the winners early! Read on to see who's taking home some real hardware...

<!--more-->dushku

MOST BADASS CHICK
AND THE AWARD GOES TO: Eliza Dushku as Rubi Malone in Wet
COMPLEX SAYS: Complex cover girl Eliza Dushku takes the cake on this one. Sure, there are tons of voice actors, but Eliza is a notorious bad girl (she once hustled a cop!), and Rubi Malone is a foulmouthed, Jack Daniels-swigging, gun-toting dime. Method acting wins again!

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north

THE WEEZY F. BABY LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
AND THE AWARD GOES TO: Nolan North
COMPLEX SAYS: Nolan North is Uncharted's Drake, Assassin's Creed 2's Ezio, the lead in Dark Void and Shadow Complex, and a few dozen others. (He also does a great Christopher Walken impression). We can't think of another man named North who's put in more work....oh, never mind. If games were mixtapes, he'd be on his way to Rikers last monthearlier this week as soon suspicious courthouse fires stop happening!

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WORST VOICE ACTING IN A GREAT GAME
AND THE AWARD GOES TO: Tasia Valenza as Poison Ivy in Batman: Arkham Asylum
COMPLEX SAYS: For an incredible game like AA, Valaneza's Ivy sounds like a robot trying to convey feelings: "But...Batman...my babies...are dying, they need me!" No shots, but with a voice like that, you're never gonna see our babies.

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neeson

BEST A-LIST CELEBRITY PERFORMANCE
AND THE AWARD GOES TO: Liam Neeson as James in Fallout 3
COMPLEX SAYS: We're pretty proud of the Fallout series. It's not only a bad-ass RPG, but if you can get Liam Neeson to do major voice work—without it being a shitty Batman Begins game—you've got something special. Clap for 'em, aye!

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enzo

MOST GRATING COMIC PERFORMANCE
AND THE AWARD GOES TO: Allan Groves as Enzo in Bayonetta
COMPLEX SAYS: Wow, Joe Pesci Show much? We know the game as a whole is over the top, but terrible timing x clunky exposition makes your "comic relief" character about as funny as a double mastectomy.

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2k10

MOST PAUSE-WORTHY PERFORMANCE
AND THE AWARD GOES TO: NBA 2K10 commentators Kevin Harlan and Clark Kellogg
COMPLEX SAYS: We love 2K10 as much as the next guy, but the announcers are straight-up suspect. With sayings like "He's been stroking it all night", "Yeah, he's really been hot", "(Insert Player's Name) is on D". Come on guys, there are better ways to word things. Just ask rappers.

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ghost

THE BILLY BADASS AWARD
AND THE AWARD GOES TO: Craig Fairbrass as Ghost of COD: Modern Warfare 2
COMPLEX SAYS: The man who was COD4's Gaz came back as another man...who people thought might still be Gaz. Regardless, the character was so dope that he got his own comic book—and possibly his own game. Gettin' that spinoff money!

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borderlands

BEST ENSEMBLE
AND THE AWARD GOES TO: The cast of Borderlands
COMPLEX SAYS: Borderlands might not have that much narrative depth, but the cast itself is hilarious, turning the game into a first-person Pixar movie for the post-apocalyptic set: "I gotta take a dump something awful! Something real awful! Oh, never mind, it's gone now " T.K. Baha 4eva!

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heavyrain

MOST DISAPPOINTING PERFORMANCE
AND THE AWARD GOES TO: The cast of Heavy Rain (especially Judi Beecher as Madison Paige)
COMPLEX SAYS: Yes, Heavy Rain is an awesome detective game. Yes, Heavy Rain is an incredible game, period. Yes, we know you loved Indigo Prophecy. However, we can't help to think that the voice work in this game makes us feel like we're Charlie Brown. WOMP, WOMP, WOMP, WOMP, WOMP, WOMP, WOMP.

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joker

VOICE PERFORMANCE OF THE YEAR
AND THE AWARD GOES TO: Mark Hamill as the Joker, Batman: Arkham Asylum
COMPLEX SAYS: The fact that our boy Mark Hamill hasn't been asked to voice over for Luke Skywalker EVER is fucking insulting. At least Lucasarts is no doubt kicking themselves after Hamill delivered a Joker who may have been less haunting then Heath Ledger's, but was way closer to the original DC incarnation. We're still trying not to walk down dark open spaces without hearing that laugh.

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