stratmw2

Yes, Battlefield 2 Bad Company is finally out, and with more games on the way, we may finally see people beginning to leave the overcrowded abusive lobbies of Modern Warfare 2. But that doesn't mean there's not still time to play like a complete a-hole! Yes, with the judicious use of certain perks, weapons, and behaviors, you too can pad your own kill/death ratio while still actually being shitty at the game. And we're here to tell you how!

And don't worry—MW2 may have the highest a-hole/non-a-hole ratio in gaming right now, but we're confident that each new robust multiplayer experience will bring us a whole new breed of a-hole...or at least the same a-holes who have simply adapted to find the loopholes in every game that comes out. Because that's what a-holes do. But enough about OTHER a-holes—become your own a-hole today! And if we've missed out on a species of a-hole, just call 'em out in the comments. Aloha!

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1. Cold-Blooded Pro + sitting in the dark
• Any map with a warehouse usually has a dark corner near a high-traffic area. Why go anywhere? Just take out two or three people until they toss a stun grenade in there and kill you. Wash, rinse, and repeat. It's not camping if you don't have a pup tent and iodine pills, amirite?


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elevate

2. Elevator + Tactical Insert
• Thanks to weird geometry, certain maps—like Derail and Skidrow—allow you to rise up into the sky, and in some cases come back down outside the map and run around outside its perimeter. Sure, people will notice eventually, but in the meantime just set up shop in the one place they can't get to.


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akimbo

3. Akimbo Shotguns + Steady Aim Pro
• Specifically, the Model 1887s (you can also wield akimbo Rangers, which still makes you more Terminator then Special Ops, but those at least have a shotgun-like range). Sure, they've been patched—twice!—so now they finally have a range that's more like a handgun than an assault rifle. But that doesn't mean you can't grab a sniper rifle and these bad boys and go running around in your Ghillie suit like some deranged muppet! Who cares if you never use the sniper rifle? That would only take aim and skill that WE JUST DON'T HAVE TIME TO DEVELOP.


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OMA

4. Grenade Launcher + One Man Army + Claymores + Danger Close
• So you've got a grenade launcher shooting grenades...that never run out...and have increased explosive damage. Put those together in a closed map—especially in an objective-based game with well-defined spawn points—and any pretense of skill goes out the window. Welcome to the pineapple shop, bitches!


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stabby

5. Lightweight + Marathon + Commando
• Faster than everyone else? Check. Never get tired? Check. Able to stab people from seven feet away even if they're shooting at you? Check. Let's get stabby! If you want to take your a-hole strategy to the next level, use this setup on objective-based games, so that you can kill and kill and kill without actually helping your team win. We like to call it the Vince Carter Offense.


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