No Small Feat: Our 10 Favorite Short Men Who Date Tall Women

In honor of Napoléon's wedding anniversary, Complex runs down pint-sized guys who are always on the come up with women who dwarf them.

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Complex Original

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Even with viking horns on, Flav came up short with Brigitte Nielsen.

March 9th is a famous day in history. It's the day that Biggie died, it's the day Barbie debuted, and it's also (now) the day that Wayne went to jail. But in 1796, it was also the day Napoléon Bonaparte married his first wife, Joséphine de Beauharnais. Although Napoleon's true height has become a subject of recent debate, the fact that a Napoleon Complex is named after him, we're going to go ahead and say that even in a recession we got money stacks taller than him. However, that didn't stop him from taking over the world and wifing chicks way too tall for him anyhow. That's why in celebration of Josephine and Napoleon's 214th wedding anniversary, we're taking a look at our 10 favorite short dudes who date tall chicks. Read on for the come-up.

Bow Wow

Bow Wow & Ciara
RESPECTIVE HEIGHTS: 5'6" & 5'10"
COMPLEX SAYS: Bow Wow somehow managed to hook up with Ciara, which was the most obvious height mismatch since a young Solange Knowles played Bow Wow's love interest in the video for "Puppy Love."

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Flavor-Fave

Flavor Flav & Brigitte Nielsen
RESPECTIVE HEIGHTS: 5'7" & 6'1"
COMPLEX SAYS: Yuck! We're just glad this train wreck is over.

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Janet-Jermaine

Jermaine Dupri & Janet Jackson
RESPECTIVE HEIGHTS: 5'4" & 5'4"
COMPLEX SAYS: Turns out Janet and Jermaine are actually the same height, but Janet's affinity for high heels always gave her three of four inches over Jermaine on the red carpet. It's either that, or she was just trying to constantly remind Jermaine how much more famous, successful, and talented she was than him.

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Marty

Martin Scorsese & Helen Morris
RESPECTIVE HEIGHTS: 5'4" & ???
COMPLEX SAYS: Marty has been known to cast beautiful women in his films, some of whom wouldn't dwarf him, but when you're 5'4" and have been married five times, best believe some of your lovers will have a few inches on you. Ayo!

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Mick-Jagger

Mick Jagger & L'Wren Scott
RESPECTIVE HEIGHTS: 5'10" & 6'4"
COMPLEX SAYS: Who cares if his girl is a half foot taller than him? His swagger is Mick Jagger. 'Nuff said!

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Nickolas Sarkosy Carla Bruni

Nicolas Sarkozy & Carla Bruni
RESPECTIVE HEIGHTS: 5'5" & 5'9"
COMPLEX SAYS: Sarkozy channeled his inner-Napoleon when he went and wifed up singer/model Carla Bruni. Props to Sarkozy for bagging someone way out of his league, but he needs to watch out. Carla is known for her long list of lovers, and for breaking up Mick Jagger's marriage. Plus she once claimed to be "bored with monogamy." However, maybe Carla needs to keep an eye on Nic.

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Roman-Po

Roman Polanski & Emmanuelle Seigner
RESPECTIVE HEIGHTS: 5'5" & 5'8"
COMPLEX SAYS: Wait, we thought Polanski had a thing for girls waaay too short for him? Zing!

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Salman

Salman Rushdie & Padma Lakshmi/Pia Glenn
RESPECTIVE HEIGHTS: 5'7" & 5'9"/6'1"
COMPLEX SAYS: Rushdie made one of the biggest downgrades ever when he got divorced from his fourth wife, Padma Lakshmi, and started dating the much taller—but way less hot—"actress" Pia Glenn.

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Tom-Cruise-Kidman-+-Holmes

Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman/Katie Holmes
RESPECTIVE HEIGHTS: 5'7" & 5'11"/5'9"
COMPLEX SAYS: Probably the most famous example of a dude who wifes chicks who are too tall for him. That may or may not be related to him being bat-shit crazy. Maybe he's just seeking the giant embrace of L. Ron Hubbard's Psychlos.

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Vernon

Verne Troyer & Genevieve Gallen/Ranae Shrider
RESPECTIVE HEIGHTS: 2'8" & 5'6"/5'6"
COMPLEX SAYS: Along with being the world's shortest man, an actor, and a recovering alcoholic, your boy Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer is also a pimp. Troyer was allegedly married to former-Playboy Bunny Gallen but later had the marriage annulled. Troyer was also involved in a sex tape with former live-in girlfriend Ranae Shrider. Yes, we're also wondering how any of this is possible.


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