miltonlead

They say the only things you can count on in this life are death and taxes. Well, whoever said that clearly didn't have cable TV, the most reliable thing of all. Like a good friend, TV is always there for you. Actually come to think of it, how many friends do you have that will be there for you any time of night at the mere push of a button? And no, we're not counting drug dealers or escorts.

So don't be worried if you're giving up your social life to post in front of the TV for yet another night, because TV will have your back long after your friends are gone. To sweeten the deal, we've got a jam-packed schedule tonight, with everything from Latarian Milton to NBA action in our Complex TV Picks...

toshmilton

COMEDY: TOSH.0, COMEDY CENTRAL, 10:30 PM
• Tonight, little Latarian Milton gets a shot at web redemption. While we doubt Tosh can recreate the magic of Latarian's original joyride, which was the best internet video of the 2000's, we're definitely going to watch him try.

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SPORTS: LAKERS VS. MAVERICKS, ESPN, 9 PM ET
• The Mavs have maintained a 4-1 record since acquiring small forward Caron Butler and look to pocket another win tonight as they host the Lakers. It should be a good match-up with Kobe back from his ankle injury, and apparently at full-strength as he dropped 32 points and a game-winning three last night on the Grizzlies.

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SCIENCE: 1000 WAYS TO DIE, SPIKE, 10 PM ET
• The basic concept for any show on Spike is really pretty simple: Take outlandish scenarios of violence or sex, illustrate them with cool pseudo-scientific graphics and voila! You've got watchable TV. Tonight's episode of 1000 Ways To Die features death from a keg stand, drug smugglers falling victim to cannibals, and other highly unlikely ways you could end up dying.

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MOVIE:TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY, TNT, 9 PM ET
• This one might not be Will Ferrell's greatest achievement (for that, we've gotta ride with Anchorman, but cameos from Sacha Baron Cohen and Gary Cole make it pretty damn close. This is about the closest thing to NASCAR that we'd watch, unless of course a Danica Patrick sex tape ever leaks.

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SPORTS: OLYMPICS, WOMEN'S ALPINE & FREESTYLE SKIING, NBC, 8 PM ET
• While the USA's most realistic chance at gold in tonight's giant-slalom is with Julia Mancuso, our eyes are still on SI snow bunny, Lindsey Vonn. And if that's not enough to handle your burning, insatiable craving for more Olympics, check out the women's freestyle skiing as well.

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