According to bastion of reliable journalism National Enquirer, Morgan Freeman is hoping to marry 27-year-old E'Dena Hines. Who also happens to be his step-granddaughter. As the gossip outlets have reported, the alleged affair is the reason for the collapse of his 24-year marriage (though E'Dena is not the woman who was in the car with Freeman the night he got into that car accident last year).
For the moment, let's ignore the 45-year age difference between the two--as far as we're concerned, MF Doom has earned the right to bone 18-year-olds if he so chooses--and focus on the truly creepy part of it. You're marrying fam, fam! The thing is, while Morgan is the latest to climb his own family tree, he's by no means the first. Check out some other quasi-incestuous cases that made us cringe...
WHO: RUDY GIULIANI, POLITICIAN
SCANDAL: His first marriage, which lasted for 14 years, was to his second cousin Regina Peruggi. According to Giuliani, he didn't know she was his second cousin for a decade and a half—but knowing she was a third cousin was perfectly acceptable? In the Republican tradition it is. Probably.
WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHO: CHELSEA CUMMINS, TAEKWONDO CHAMPION
SCANDAL: Cummins had a two-year affair (which resulted in an abortion) from age 17 to 19 with her long-lost father. *cue Deliverance theme* No extenuating circumstances here: He was her father, he impregnated her, and then went on to sex up her mother again. Last name Cummins—coincidence? Hardly.
WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHO: ALBERT EINSTEIN, SCIENTIST
SCANDAL: He married his first cousin in 1923. We'll cut Al some slack—the pickings for an eccentric genius in Berlin in the early 1900s were a bit slim. Plus, y'know, E=MC^2 and all that.
WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHO: FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT AND ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY
SCANDAL: FDR and Eleanor were fifth cousins once removed. True, it was legal, But isn't it a little strange that Eleanor didn't even have to change her last name (maiden name: Roosevelt) upon marrying? Or that she LOOKED LIKE A FUCKING DUDE?
WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHO: WOODY ALLEN, DIRECTOR/ACTOR
SCANDAL: Mia Farrow ended her 12-year relationship with Allen after discovering nude photos of her adopted daughter, Soon-Yi, in his apartment. Ouch. Allen later married Soon-Yi and is with her to this day. Whatever works!
WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHO: GEORGE-MICHAEL BLUTH AND MAEBY FUNKE
SCANDAL: O.K., it's not real, but Michael Cera's character in Arrested Development is in love with his cousin. Who may or may not actually be his cousin. Good thing Cera's too much of a eunuch to ever consummate any relationship, let alone a slightly questionable one.
WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:
