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True story: In 1994, I had dinner with Bill O'Reilly and his sleazy Inside Edition staff at a camp resort in Oregon. My father had won a bank-sponsored contest, resulting in a free white-water-rafting trip on Oregon's Deschutes River. Guests at the lodge ate dinner together at a long wooden table, with O'Reilly inexplicably sitting at the head. Although he was one of the few members of his staff not in a drunken stupor, O'Reilly compensated by obnoxiously ranting about various current events while I tried to pretend like I hadn't just smoked a spliff to the dome outside.
Little did I know that this brash douche bag would emerge as one of the most animated and infamous reactionary voices of our times. Recently, he's been making the talk show rounds in defense of the GOP and adding to his extensive archive of twisted highlight reels. His Bobby Knight aggression tends to rattle adversaries, but he's also taken some serious Ls. Let's revisit some of his biggest fails...
5. O'REILLY vs. OBAMA'S SECURITY
• Is O'Reilly really an Obama Stan? All signs point to "yes". Not only is he planning to write a (fair & balanced) book about Mr. 44, but in this clip, O'Reilly nearly starts a brawl while trying to get Obama's attention. Truly a sad moment for any grown man. O'Reilly's tantrum is opiated once Barack acknowledges his existence, shakes his hand, and keeps it moving.
4. O'REILLY vs. PAUL KRUGMAN
• Bill loves to insinuate violence when he starts losing an intellectual spar. Here he offers a veiled threat to Nobel Prize Winning Economist, Paul Krugman, on the late Tim Russert's show, Meet The Press. Krugman did look kinda shook though.
3. O'REILLY vs. 9/11 VICTIM, JEREMY GLICK
• In this exchange, which was popularized by the documentary Outfoxed, Bill callously attacks the son of a 9/11 victim who is critical of the U.S. wars that ensued. When O'Reilly fails to crush his subject, he simply tells producers "cut his mic." SMH
2. O'REILLY vs. PHIL DONAHUE
• One of the O.G. talk show hosts brings it to O'Reilly for trying to demonize Cindy Sheehan, the anti-war activist who lost her son in Iraq. When Bill attempts to ramp up the hostility, Donahue retorts "I'm not Jeremy Glick, Billy. You can't intimidate me." You can't say O'Reilly didn't try.
1. O'REILLY vs. STEPHEN COLBERT
• Here O'Reilly faces off with his satirical counterpart, Stephen Colbert. While attempting to break Colbert's character and ridicule his "French-sounding" name, O'Reilly is eventually stumped as Colbert's comedic genius prevails, making a hilarious mockery of O'Reilly's whole persona.
***BONUS: O'REILLY vs. INSIDE EDITION INTERN
• By now, most people have seen this footage of O'Reilly going ape-shit over a teleprompter typo. It never gets old.