Movie: Children Of The Corn V: Fields Of Terror (1998)

If you were female, and named Eva Mendes, which would you prefer folks acknowledge as your first real big-screen introduction: going topless in Training Day, or pledging allegiance to that bratty little Satanist Ezekiel in the perfunctory horror sequel Children Of The Corn V: Fields Of Terror? You’d choose the first, of course, because that one at least starred Denzel Washington and won him his long overdue Best Actor Academy Award. As for the straight-to-DVD Corn flick, it’s the kind of shitty, low-grade dud that bores people who come across it on cable, keep it on for 20 minutes, and switch it off after saying, “Hey, look who it is!” Never has flashing one’s ta-tas been so favorable.