Movie: Parasite (1982)

Lately, Demi Moore’s acting career has taken a backseat, playing second fiddle to the tabloid-magnet’s Twitter follies, divorce drama, and rehab stints. Let some untrustworthy producer promise the impossibly fine Moore a box office resurgence in a 3D genre flick, though, and Ashton Kutcher’s cougar ex can proudly tell them that she’s been there and done that, back when it wasn’t so overdone, no less. Proof that the film industry’s three-dimensional fuckery has been a waste of time since the early 1980s, the easily dismissible 1982 sci-fi/horror clunker Parasite did little to sell haters on those plastic 3D glasses. Nor did Moore’s performance, just one of many hardly-there acting turns from a cast of non-factors who either didn’t read their scripts before signing those contracts or always dreamed of starring in “the first futuristic monster movie in 3D!” As they say, be careful what you wish for…