1.
2. As Food
Rappers need lots of vitamins and minerals to keep them flowing. To replenish tired muscles after a long day, 50 Cent recommends a diet full of leafy greens fresh from the bank. "Have a salad with me, baby. Be a millionaire!"
“Stomach full of money, so hundreds of calories I'ma save,” raves artist Waka Flocka Flame. "I've lost 30 pounds since I made the switch from $1's to $100's. It's a miracle!"
[caption id="attachment_466147" align="alignnone" width="600"]
Image via salacuse.com[/caption]
3. As a Phone
Little known fact: Hip-hop artists have a private line where they all call each other, but you can only reach it by replacing your phone with a rack. It is a very prestigious honor to be included in this club. Drake is a member:
[caption id="attachment_466165" align="aligncenter" width="480" class=" "]
Image via celebritynetworth.com[/caption]
Chief Keef is a member:
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Image via thisis50.com[/caption]
Here's rare footage of Childish Gambino being invited to join the crew:
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Image via giphy.com[/caption]
Get your own money phone now by taking out your life savings, tying them into a bundle, and holding it up to your face like a champion.
4. As a Bed
The reviews are in: TempurPedic is out, money beds are in. Forget stuffing cash in your mattress, just throw it all on top for a good night's sleep, guaranteed!
“I used to have to drink lean just to help me sleep,” says rapper and former insomniac French Montana. “Ever since I getting money bed, I feel fresh as a feather!”
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Image via instagram[/caption]
5. As a Lighter
Enjoying a well-twisted blunt with some $2 lighter from the convenience store is like drinking Hennessey out of a solo cup. To experience the full body and palate of your gas, you need to light it with a $100 bill. The $20 or $50 will suffice if you’re on a budget, but nothing compares to the rush of flavors given off when turning $100 of hard earned cash into flame. For a personal testimony, see the footage from Young Thug's Instagram below.
7. As a Bath
As everybody knows, money is the cleanest substance on earth...
That is why dermatologist A$AP Ferg recommends using $100 to get the bumps off your face. However, if you want a full-body clean, you need a money bath. Leave feeling fresh or get your money back!
9. As Stripper Fuel
Here's a real life hack: When your strippers grow unmotivated, tired, or generally lethargic, throwing money can actually boost their performance levels by over 150%. Though the science is not yet clear, many artists will attest to the power of money when it is thrown into the air.
As summarized in a thesis by rappper/stripper expert 2 Chainz, "Yeah, I luv dem strippers."
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Image via rebloggy.com[/caption]
10. As a Fan
“I do what I gotta do, I don’t care if I get hot,” says mogul and hip hop artist 50 Cent. “That’s why I use cash-fan!”
[caption id="attachment_466197" align="alignnone" width="600"]
Image via thenerdygentlemen.blogspot.com[/caption]
If you too are rolling with heat, you can purchase a cash-fan for 20 easy payments of $500.
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Image via giphy.com[/caption]
11. As a Blindfold
12. As Rain
Let’s face it, rain is overrated. You can’t pick up rain and throw it back in the air, nor can you buy a new Bugatti with rain. If you’re stuck in da drought, take a tip from Lil Wayne and make it rain.
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14. As Exchange For Goods and Services
Perhaps the biggest insider tip that Wall Street doesn’t want you to know is that money can also be used to buy things. No scam, no lie, money can actually be used to buy lots of cool things. The only thing it can’t buy you is happiness.
Just kidding, of course it can.
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