Bass For Your Face: 13 Songs Guaranteed To Wake Up Your Parents & Neighbors

Producer: Earthtone III (Andre 3000, Big Boi, and Mr. DJ)

Bass level: Bother your parents/sister/whoever's in the room next to yours

A warm up. The Earthtone III-produced deep cut from Outkast's sprawling Stankonia hits with clean 808s. Nothing overwhelming, but certainly a good engine-starter for your system. Your mother knocks on your door towards the end of the song.

"Could you turn that down a bit, sweetie?"

"Yes, mom," you say while tweeting "Turn down for what, MOM!?" That'll show her who's boss.

Producer: Lex Luger

Bass level: Wake the neighbors

Time to make your parents regret buying you that subwoofer.

It's not enough that your family knows you can push it to the red. You want your neighbors to know. Lex Luger's pummeling kick drums on Rick Ross' "BMF" are the perfect next step, clean 808s that have just a little bit of a meaner knock than your average rap single.

The neighbors are now aware that you mean business.

Producer: Tyler, the Creator

Bass level: Neighborhood nuisance

Before Tyler, the Creator started rubbing elbows with the likes of Pharrell and Kanye and learning about the intricacies of mixing, his songs were rough, bass-heavy creations sure to push speakers to in-the-red distortion.

"French" is one Tyler's rudest early creations, a sure sign to people on your block that you are definitely not fucking around. Or at least probably not fucking around. Maybe.

They might need more convincing...

Producer: Gesaffelstein

Bass level: Someone is calling the cops

With its blaring, ode-to-g-funk sirens and booming, distorted 808s, Gesaffelstein's "Hellafornia" sounds like the riot it aims to start.

You put it on and turn the volume up.

Mrs. Fineman from two doors down just can't take it anymore. She was fine with "Gangsta Shit" because Outkast was groundbreaking; she was even cool with BMF because she thinks Rick Ross has great taste in suits. But "Hellafornia?"

911 has been called.

Producer: TNGHT

Bass level: You scared the cops off

The cops arrive and they're pissed because you're preventing them from pursuing actual criminals. They knock on your door.

What's there to greet them?

The sweet, vicious gut punch of TNGHT's "Acrylics," the sound of a garbage disposal eating an 808 and spitting out the duo's absurdly heavy kick drum. The cops are no match for Lunice and HudMo.

Producer: Flosstradamus

Bass level: Shake the ground

Victory lap: Flosstradamus & DJ Sliink's booty-popping, brain-vibrating "Test Me."

Your mother shouts through the door.

"Turn that down now or your father and I are leaving!"

Nothing matters. The police have been defeated, the neighbors are starting to realize that they might need to find new places to live, and "#WhyAreMyTeethShaking?" and "#HowDoYouStopAnEarBleed" are trending locally on Twitter.

Self-high five.

Producer: Cadenza & Nasher

Bass level: A small earthquake

You nod your head to the relentless low-end pulse of Cadenza & Nasher's "Gyal Town," occasionally busting out your best impressions of Chief Keef's dance moves from the "Don't Like" video. You hear the faint sound of a car screeching out of the driveway.

"I hope mom brings back PopTarts," you think to yourself.

You lose your balance for a second. Was that...an earthquake? No, probably not. Just the bass.

Producer: Cha Lo & Polow da Don

Bass level: Slightly larger earthquake that sends surrounding states into chaos and forces the government to call in the national guard

More dancing, more Chief Keef moves. You couldn't care less. Rich Boy's "Drop" is on, pummeling your brain with Cha Lo and Polow da Don's incessant 808 assault. You're so drunk on bass that you put on Earl and Tyler's version of "Drop" immediately after Rich Boy's stops.

The ground shakes.

A beam falls from the ceiling and smacks you in the head, sending you clear across the room and into the wall. You taste blood in your mouth. This is an earthquake.

"Awesome," you say to yourself. "Awesome."

Producer: Mr. Carmack & Arnold

Bass level: State of emergency

How far can you take your quest to bring the glorious mayhem of intestine-destroying low end to the world? Farther. You have to. You spit out a little blood and what appear to be the remains of teeth onto the still vibrating ground. It's time to break out the big guns: Your super-secret Soundcloud playlist that you've been saving for this occasion.

You can only break the seal once. There's no turning back.

You press play on Mr. Carmack & Arnold's thunderous "Muney (Gimme Dat)." Anyone in your immediate vicinity who wasn't already packing their things and running for their dear, downtrodden life is about to be consumed in a vortex of low frequencies and sinkholes.

Producer: Hucci

Bass level: Dear god...

Mr. Carmack and Arnold give way to Hucci's eardrum-decimating "Phoenix"–a testament to the power of raw, probably-improperly mixed bass. Houses begin to disintegrate around you. Fire hydrants explode. The ground begins to crack...

Producer: Bobby Johnson

Bass level: Oh no...is this the end?

Next up in the buffet of chaos? Que's "OG Bobby Johnson," three and a half minutes that would normally start a riot...

Dark clouds form in the sky. Your teeth chatter uncontrollably. Small sinkholes swallow cars whole. Animals run wild in the streets, shrieking and bleating, bashing their heads against cars in time with the song. People are too busy running for their lives and trying to avoid renegade cows stampeding to the beat to even think about rioting.

"Oh my," you whisper. Or maybe you shout. You can't hear anything except for deafening bass anyway.

Producer: Mike Will Made It

Bass level: Burn it all! Burn it to the ground!

Even you are a little bit scared when Future's "Sh!t" comes on. The streets crumble beneath your feet and you hurtle towards the center of the earth as the Atlantan rapper shouts threats at an empty, ravaged planet over Mike Will's menacing 808s.

"Cool," you shout as you tumble towards the vibrating core of molten rock. "This is going on Vine. I'm gonna be famous."

Producer: Bobby Johnson

Bass level: Other galaxies would like you to very kindly shut the fuck up

Boom.