When Constant Gardner saw this in drafts, he was like (in his snooty British accent), “Don’t post that! It’s rubbish!”

Fuck you, Constant Gardner. I’m not even a Beyoncé fan and I want to watch this video forever. I’m not even female and this makes me feel like a powerful woman. I don’t even enjoy being drunk, and I… just kidding, just kidding, who doesn’t like being drunk? I’m actually wasted right now. Just kidding, I don’t drink before 2 p.m. on Mondays. Also, CG: liking Beyoncé is okay now, even for snobby music tastemakers, because Beyoncé is the new Death Grips.

*Turns up volume, does sake bomb in office, jumps on desk and shakes hips while shooting sassy looks at CG*


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