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2. Death Grips
Death Grips never had to break bad, they were bad from the day they first assaulted our ears with their mind-expanding brand of industrial rap. They gave the literal and figurative middle finger to the industry by releasing an album against the wishes of their label, Epic, a sin for which they were unceremoniously dropped. But this hasn’t held them back or stopped them from destroying the sonic spectrum and everything in their path. Though they have a penchant for not showing up at gigs, we’re pretty sure they’d make it to The Lab with hustle bones flowing out of their collective mouth. Otherwise there would be one very, very unhappy Heisenberg. And how could this show not kill? With Death Grips’ visceral anarchy whipping around all of Breaking Bad’s moral anarchy, creating a toxic soufflé that asks the audience to question their very lives.
3. Wu-Tang Clan
What we have to remember about this type of TV show venue is that they CAN GET ANYONE. In The O.C., The Bait Shop booked acts who might not have actually played there in real life, and yet there they were, begging Ryan and Marissa to work things out. This is the suspension of disbelief we engage in when we dive into our favorite fantasy worlds. We all know Wu-Tang wouldn’t play some dusty meth bar in the desert (or would they?), but that doesn’t mean there isn’t something about the epic nature of their songs that doesn’t just fit into Breaking-Bad-Land. As Sir Anthony Hopkins noted in a fanboy letter to Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad is like “a great Jacobean, Shakespearian or Greek Tragedy.” Wu-Tang sometimes inspires equally classical and expansive comparisons (from me), and we all know Walter White would respect Wu-Tang in a way he wouldn’t respect Mr. Businessman Diddy. They would understand each other.
4. Hank Williams III
Hank Williams III looks (and even sounds) so much like his grandfather that one of Hank I’s old friends remarked, “Lord, honey, you're a ghost,” when she met Hank III. He carries that ghostly presence into his particular mixture of punk and roots country, both utilizing the skilled instrumentation of a bygone era and singing like a demon Hank Williams. He’d feel right at home in the New Mexico desert, avoiding child support payments (he sings about it) and slamming back shots of whiskey while waiting to go on stage. Hank III is the consummate outlaw, and his music can swing brutal enough to match Breaking Bad.
5. Timber Timbre
This may be breaking my own internal rules for who’s allowed to play The Lab because Timber Timbre had a song (“Magic Arrow”) featured in Breaking Bad, but that’s just because there is something about their hallucinogenic folk-blues that fits into Breaking Bad’s aesthetic. This Canadian mysticism is restrained and disorienting at the same time, with a classic bump in its step to carry it along. Not everyone who plays this bar is going to tear the walls down, okay?
6. Mac Miller
Mac Miller surprised us all. He could have stayed Donald Trumping, but he decided to break a bit indie-rap-snob, with impressive results. Not only does Mac Miller look like he might have just stepped out of a party at Jesse’s house for a cigarette, but we think he would get Walt's grudging respect for leaning away from The Bro. Oh, and Mac Miller would definitely be down in the desert slumming it with some meth heads and then be trying to kiss Ariana Grande with that same mouth. Because that boy is so rude.
7. Nine Inch Nails
Lest this concert series get too lighthearted, we have to remember this is Breaking Bad we’re talking about, and some serious existential questioning of the nature of human relationships, power, and love needs to happen. This is when we call in the big guns. What does it mean to say you love your family, that you are doing everything for them, and then admit to yourself and the world that you’re actually doing it for yourself? What does it feel like to be Jesse, consumed at times by guilt, remorse, and self-hatred? If anyone knows, it’s Trent Reznor. Walt broods in a corner, uninterested in the industrial hums coming off the stage, but then he and Trent lock eyes, and the entire bar is crushed by the weight of humanity.
8. Ryan Bingham
Ryan Bingham captures the weariness of the Southwestern desert like no other artist. His dusty songwriting anchored the alcoholic ramblings of the movie Crazy Heart, and exposed what a wealth of soul and hurt that lay inside it. Not only might Ryan Bingham actually jump out of the back of a pickup truck in the desert of New Mexico and play The Lab, but If we needed someone to perhaps give the illusion that we could trudge through to some wistfully “alright” resolution before the final door slammed shut on us forever, it would be Ryan Bingham. He would lull the crowd into rumination about their troubles, an appreciation of all they’ve been through, and send tears running down their cheeks. Heisenberg may or may not be moved.
9. El-P
El-P’s music is packed full with the sort of paranoid aggression necessary to inspire any would-be meth kingpin. He paints a dark world that’s equal parts nostalgist and futurist. In both his productions and rapping he’s also been a consistent innovator and meticulous stylist in a manner that would make Walter White’s master-chemist side perk up in mutual regard. Even when El-P’s at his most invasive, there’s still an evident respect for artistry and excellence. We can see him lovingly running his hands over White’s “blue sky,” before cracking it in half and stomping on it.
10. Nacho Picasso
There’s something undeniably grotesque and goofy about Walter White. Even as he reaches for Scarface as Heisenberg, his alter-ego is based on a nerdy in-joke. The Heisenberg uncertainty principle... get it, get it?! This is where Nacho Picasso comes in. He’s equal parts comic-book nerd and genuinely disturbing lyricist. He’s clever, devious, deadpan, arrogant, and self-aware. And he’s funky enough for Jesse to get down with as well. Though Nacho might get some strange looks from the local patrons when he rolls up in those big plastic frames, we think they’ll eventually come to appreciate his sarcastic snarl. He’s been a bad guy, since his dad died.
11. The Flight
Some of you might not be familiar with London-based production duo The Flight, but their Hangman EP is one of the most under-appreciated releases of the year. The EP tells the story of a young woman who is tempted from her home and murdered in the woods. It’s seductive and haunting, a lure into destruction. We imagine that, as The Flight’s music reaches Walter White’s ears, he feels the pull of the dark life he’s devolved into, and feels the rigid compartmentalization he’s crafted drifting away as the sweet smell of murder rises around him.
12. Encore, Encore!
Oh yes, there will be an encore. And it will be Korn. “What?” you ask, shocked, horrified. Let me explain. Korn, at their core, makes music about how unbearably depressing it is to grow up in Nothingsville, USA (aka Bakersfield, CA), contemplating how you are going to slog through life without blowing your brains out, and how necessary it is to fucking Break Bad. If you didn’t think at least one dreadlocked maniac was going to burst in and tear this mother down, you were absolutely mistaken. R.I.P. The Lab.
