Pigeons and Planes is officially taking submissions for posts (details here). I’ve decided to call the post series “Open Mic”, since this is the chance for anyone to step up and have their voice heard. So far I’ve received some great stuff – I’ll probably publish them about once a week from now on, so if you’ve got something to say, hit me up (but please read the details first). For the first edition, here’s a post written by Jackson, a twenty-something year old from Baltimore:

The Art Of Making A Sex Mix

Go into any guy’s iTunes and he’s probably got a mix called “Getting’ Busy” or “Music To Fuck To” and every damn one of them has Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” on it. Motherfuckers don’t know how to make sex mixes anymore. Read and learn.

First thing is, every song on the mix does NOT need to have the word “love” or “sex” in the title. When you want to dance, do you just search for songs with “dance” in the title? You probably do, young rookie. But that’s not the point I’m trying to make. When you wanna dance, you put on some MJ, put on some Prince, put on some James Brown, put on some of that weird techno stuff you might be feeling, but you don’t just put on a bunch of songs that happen to have “dance” in the title. Everyone should make love to “Sexual Healing” at least once in their life, but the shit shouldn’t be the theme song to your erection. When it comes to lovemaking, that’s more played out than the “Oops, wrong hole” trick. Ladies, am I right on this one? How corny is it when you’re deep into a make out section and hands start wandering and your man reaches over and hits play and those 80’s style drums kick in?

Know your target, ahem, your woman. The curvy black girl in a Gucci dress and her nails did does NOT wanna hear your Dave Matthews Band mix. Skinny white broad with thick eyeliner and all black clothes isn’t gonna get hot for your R.Kelly session. Stereotyping, I know, but I’m trying to help you here. Style, clothes, background all give you clues as to what your girl’s preferences may be. Plan ahead, it’s good to have a few mixes made up if you want to leave your options open.

Listen to the lyrics. Yes, that new Chris Brown jawn might have the vibe, but halfway through your lovefest, when you’re getting into speed hump mode and your girl’s starting to get bored, she’s gonna start staring at the ceiling/floor and listening to the lyrics, and a break-up song is not going help her get back into things. Choose songs that are either neutral or appropriate for the occasion. Another tip: instrumentals are ideal. Sometimes all it takes is the right beat and the right vibe.

Pay attention to the tempo. This is another reason why you want multiple mixes. By now, hopefully we all understand the differences between lovemaking, sexing, and fucking. Fucking to D’Angelo’s “Untitled (How Does It Feel)” is like fighting to Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come”. It don’t make sense. By the same token, if you’re sipping champagne in a rose petal covered bed, Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer” is gonna dry her up like a frog out of water. Choose a tempo, and I shouldn’t even have to say it, keep that tempo throughout the whole mix. *Experienced mixers may want to plan tempo changes for a nice build up/break down.

As they say, better safe than sorry… Make sure your mix is long enough (I’m talking about length of time here). Nothing is more of a mood killer than three great songs leading into dead silence broken only by the slapping of skin on skin. If you’re lucky, you might even get back to back sessions on some round 2 shit, so make sure your mix has a few extras tacked on the end for an extended version.

Keep these tips in mind and you’re good to go. Now go delete that “Sexual Healing” mix and do things the right way. Good luck, fellas, and you’re welcome ladies. Be safe.