After the summer of 2003, on the strength of "Right Thurr" and "Holidae In," Chingy's Jackpot went triple platinum. I still can't believe it. And as if karma were indeed a motherfucker with some specific vendetta against hip-hop, only a dozen or so rappers have gone even 1x platinum in the decade since.

You know what's cooler than a platinum certification, though? A diamond certification. Rap's only got seven of 'em, issued between 1990 and 2003, one of them to MC Hammer. Before we get into this, you should know that when the RIAA sends you the plaque, it's not even made of diamonds; it's made of wood, glass, and steel. Dr. Dre's "platinum plaque" isn't a real thing, much less a diamond plaque. What's the point even? Let's rank these albums, I guess.