Billie Eilish hasn’t always loved being in the spotlight, but now it seems like the 19-year-old singer has embraced life at the center of the frame.

In a recent episode of the SmartLess podcast co-hosted by actors Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Sean Hayes, Eilish opened up about coping with fame and how she views it differently than when she first blew up.

“The parts I hated three years ago, those are the parts that I’m digging now. Fame, in general, I used to just despise it, I hated everything about it,” she said. “I hated being recognized, I hated not being able to go out, I hated not being able to post a place because then people would show up at that place wherever it was because they’d figure out where it is.”

Eilish also reflected on how her issues with mental health may have played a role in how she reacted to her own celebrity. “And I felt stupid because I had this thing that like, is really cool, people would kill for, and I didn’t like it at all,” Eilish continued. “And I was also forgetting that I was really, really depressed and that can make you hate almost anything. I don’t really know what changed, but I fucking love fame. I love it.”

Now that Eilish is a few years into her career, she says she feels “more confident” with her fame. “There were some years where I felt like I had to prove myself all the time, especially to the kids I grew up with,” she explained. 

Eilish said that when she would go to events in her hometown with other kids her age, she thought they viewed her as a “joke,” and that she “had to prove that I was actually doing pretty well.”

“Doing pretty well” is perhaps the understatement of the year. 

Next up for Eilish is her Apple documentary The World’s a Little Blurry, which is set to release on Apple TV+ on Feb. 26. Listen to her and Finneas’ SmartLess interview below.