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After a video showed authorities taking away American Idol contestant Syesha Mercado’s daughter, the singer has opened up about the fight to keep her kids.

In a new interview with TMZ, Mercado spoke about how she’s been feeling after both of her children were taken away from her by child protective services.

"This is my first time being a Mom, and I’ve been deprived of holding my babies, and feeding my babies,” she said in her interview with TMZ, tears streaming down her face. “I didn’t get to see Ra say mama for the first time. I didn’t get to see my babies meet for the first time. I didn’t get to see that and I can’t go back and redo that moment, I will never be able to go back and redo that moment. I’m just missing out on so many precious moments, such a precious time. I feel my daughter. I feel when she’s hungry and when she’s crying. And I, I can’t do anything. She’s not here with me. I’ve been deprived of that and I don’t know how to articulate it. It hurts so bad.” 

Joined by the father of both of her children, Tyron Deener, the two explained that they’ve no criminal background and they feel as though authorities are unfairly targeting them. “Our life revolves around health, balance and doing what we can to guide our children,” Deener added. “Nothing that we do is detrimental to our babies."