What The Hell Just Happened In Music This Week?

Jay-Z, Jay-Z, and oh yeah, more Jay-Z.

By 
Jul 07, 2013

Remember on The Brady Bunch (or, if you're less than a million years old, on the Saturday Night Live bits spoofing The Brady Bunch, or the campy movie version of The Brady Bunch that came out in the '90s) when Jan was so sick of hearing everyone talk about her older sister all the time, and she was like, "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!"? This past week was kind of like that. Except instead of Marcia, it was Jay-Z. 

Also, Kendrick Lamar was awarded a platinum plaque from the RIAA and Gucci Mane tried to recruit a famous Internet troll to appear on his new album. All that and more in this week's What The Hell Just Happened in Music This Week?

Kendrick Lamar Platinum

Kendrick Lamar became one of the few new rappers to own a platinum plaque.

Date: June 30

Nevermind the fact that Kendrick Lamar’s major label debut album good kid, m.A.A.d. city hasn’t actually sold over a million copies (he’s still 50,000 copies short), this week he received a platinum plaque from the Recording Rights Association of America. Usually, these things don't mean very much: RIAA certification is basically the industry patting itself on the back. And for the most part, this was just that. However, as always, context is king. If you haven’t already, you should take the time to read Justin Tinsley’s piece “Is Kendrick Lamar Drake's First Real Competitor?” It’s got an interesting (and accurate) premise and features this great piece of insight: “Since 2008, only three ‘new’ Hip-Hop artists have gone platinum. And by ‘new,’ the qualifications are under the age of 30 and dropping their first label-backed album. That’s Nicki Minaj, Drake and Kendrick. That’s it and that’s all.” It’s a whole new world out there. — Insanul Ahmed

RELATED: Kendrick Lamar Receives Platinum Plaque For "good kid, m.A.A.d. City"

A$AP Rocky appeared to have slapped an Australian woman in the face on video.

Date: July 1

During an A$AP Rocky show at the Hordem Pavillion in Sydney, Australia, earlier this week, a hopeful fan was vying for the chance to meet the famed rapper, who was cutting a swath through a sea of fans. Reaching down from an elevated tier as he passed, she tapped him on his head and asked for a kiss. She didn't get one. Rather, a video taken at the concert seems show Rocky reaching up and smacking her in the face.

In Rocky's defense, the video is soundless. And less than one-hundred percent clear. It was a hectic, chaotic scene, and it's impossible to tell exactly what happened. And whatever the case, it doesn't look like she got badly hurt. But we've watched it over and over again. (I know: the glamorous life of hip-hop journalism.) And it certainly looks like her smacked her in the face. And then pointed his finger at her, and shouted at her scoldingly. 

Now, despite the all-too-frequent evidence to the contrary, we like to think of our favorite artists as good people. (It should also be noted that there is bountiful evidence in accordance. And also that being a good person has nothing to do with a being a good artist.) So we've been trying to think of ways that this video could be showing anything other than A$AP Rocky slapping a female fan in anger. Here's the best we can come up with:

1) She had a mosquito on her face.
 
2) She was falling asleep and he was just trying to revive her.
 
4) She is a sadomasochist, and asked him to slap her. And he didn't do it too hard, and she thanked him for it afterwards. (And as he was pointing up her, he was saying, "You're welcome! I hope that wasn't too hard, though. I wouldn't want to injure you in any way, as I am a good person.")
 
3) He was actually just gently caressing her face, but the video got sped up at that part.
 
We want to believe that. We don't want believe A$AP Rocky did what it looks like he did. — Sobechi Ibekwe
 

RELATED: It Looks Like A$AP Rocky Smacked A Female Fan In Australia

Gucci Mane recruited famous internet troll Lavish to record an intro on his next album.

Date: July 1

Gucci Mane does some crazy things: Get a giant ice-cream cone tattoo on his face; record an album with V-Nasty; send out a picture of himself photo-shopped onto a waterfall. The thing is, though, lots of the crazy things Gucci Mane does are crazy like the things that a fox does are crazy. 

On Monday, he sent a message over Twitter to Lavish, the disgusting rich teenager from San Francisco who has become famous for wasting his inherited money. And when you think about it, this might be kinda perfect. Lavish is obviously a ridiculous joke, a performance artist, and he seems ridiculous and performative in just the right way for Gucci to make an album intro out of. ("Gucci Mane LaVlare?") It could serve as a sort of time capsule of 2013 ridiculousness.

Jesus, what will the aliens think when they find it?   



RELATED: Gucci Mane Asks Lavish For An Album Intro


Big Sean Eminem

Big Sean got dap from his mom and Eminem. (That's not his mom and Eminem dressed in Star Wars costumes in the video above.)

Date: July 2

Give it up for Big Sean's mom. She likes her son's hit song "Dance" so much, she repeated its, er, saucy chorus on national television. In front of video screen featuring enthusiastic twerk performance, Big Mom (Mama Sean?) repeated the word "ass" a total of twenty-one times. (Yes, I counted, what of it?) Then she blew her son a kiss and uttered a proud, "My boy." Pretty impressive, considering the subject matter. Hell, my mom probably won't even read something I wrote about rap—not even to herself.

On top of that, Sean received the official blessing of another family member—this time, the pater familias of his hometown Detroit rap scene. "This is an awesome album," said Eminem himself of Sean's forthcoming Hall of Fame. "I ain't never been surprised like this."

This must have helped assuage Sean's feelings in light of the recent old-rapper-tweet scandal. Included in the trove of dug-up disses posted on the website BallerAlert, were some pointed words about Sean from his current collaborator Travi$ Scott. An embarrassing situation, but Sean took it in stride. "People's opinions change over time," he said, sensibly.

Hey, if your mom loves you, that's all that matters.—Alexander Gleckman

 

RELATED: Big Sean's Mom Reads His Lyrics From "Dance (A$$)" and It Is Hilarious
RELATED: Check Out This Amazing Maid of Honor Toast Done to Eminem's "Without Me"

Wale First Week Sales

Wale hit the top of the charts.

Yeezus has, to say the last, divided the hip-hop community. It's a weighty record, and remains (in this writer's opinion) a pretty fascinating one, even if it does make for challenging listening. It was released without a lead single, and although some stations have spun a few tracks from the record, it is by-and-large something a fan has to buy into.

This week, 80 percent fewer people did so than the week previous. J. Cole's Born Sinner, meanwhile, enjoying far more radio play, and support from core-base rap fans, continued with steady sales, overtaking Yeezus's spot as the summer's biggest seller so far. Bigger news on the Billboard charts this week, though, was The Gifted, which became the first album from Maybach Music Group's Wale's to hit the No. 1 spot. While it has not been especially well-received by critics, it's gotten some solid radio traction with the sophisticated R&B vibes of its lead single "Bad." And it's gotten something (I guess, apparently, maybe?) from Wale's decision to embrace his reputation as the-opposite-of-a-critic's darling by making his own magazine. Take that, snobs! — David Drake

Date: July 3

RELATED: Wale's "The Gifted" Debuts at No. 1 on Billboard 200, "Yeezus" Sales Drop at Record Rate

Justin Timberlake Tunnel Vision

Justin Timberlake's “Tunnel Vision” video blurred YouTube's guidelines.

Date: July 3

Justin Timberlake has had a successful 2013, to say the least. The 20/20 Experience, his first album in seven years, is the bestselling album of the year thus far—with a sequel slated to come out in September. He's featured on the title track of one of the biggest rap releases of the years, Jay-Z's Magna Carta Holy Grail, and he's about to go on tour with Jay later this month.

To add to his list of victories, Justin dropped a video for "Tunnel Vision" this week, a simple video which featured a movie projector, dancing, and a few naked girls. Within minutes, comparisons were being made to fellow-blue-eyed soul singer Robin Thicke, whose "Blurred Lines" video also features nudity. There's already been a lot of talk about JT sounding like RT on The 20/20 Experience, and people were quick to call the video another jack move.

Jay-Z-is-the-Illuminati conspiracy theorists were fed some fodder soon after, when YouTube, in a surprising move, decided to allow "Tunnel Vision" to stay up on its website despite the nudity. Google, the company which owns YouTube, explained that it has decided that the video displayed nudity in an "artistic context," which makes it acceptable. The "Blurred Lines" video, on the other hand, had immediately been yanked.

Ultimately, Thicke has little to be upset about. After all, "Blurred Lines" went on to become the number one song in the nation, in part due to the controversy stoked by its video getting banned from YouTube. Timberlake's highest charting single this year, "Suit & Tie," peaked at number three on the charts.—Dharmic X

RELATED: Video: Justin Timberlake "Tunnel Vision"

Everyone talked and talked and talked some more about Jay-Z's new album. And it finally came out!

Date: July 4

You might have heard something about a new Jay-Z album? Yes, in a continuing coup for rap's greatest business, man, Magna Carta Holy Grail completely dominated headlines even before fans got to listen to a single song. In the lead up to the album’s groundbreaking July 4th release, and in the wake of its hugely popular promo spots, any tiny insight into the mysterious album was rendered newsworthy.

The first news that fans and critics latched on to concerned Rick Rubin. Although his barefooted presence was prominently displayed in the MCHG commercials, it turned out that the legendary Def Jam founder produced exactly 0% of the album's music. However, as his name was taken off the credit list everyone was keeping in their minds, others were inserted to fill the void.

First came Atlanta's Mike Will Made It, one of the hottest young producers in the game, talking about his work on the song “Beach Is Better.” Next, Timbaland gave Revolt an indepth interview wherein he talked about, among other things, his extremely hands-on role in the album. Finally, a producer with much less name recognition, the 16-year-old Wondagurl, made big internet waves as it came out that she produced the standout track "Crown".

Once it seemed like everyone had chipped in their two cents, it was finally time for the album’s release. But of course, something unexpected and kind of amazing happened. Midnight, with the calander turning to July 4th, the app that was supposed to be granting one million Samsung users an early download of the album crashed. As Samsung owner’s acted like sneakerheads on a Saturday morning, gleeful Jay haters leapt to call the bold experiment a major failure. But then, word shot across the twittersphere that some radio stations, most notably New York's Hot 97 and marquee DJ/crazy person Funkmaster Flex, were playing the album.

What was supposed to be an innovative yet exclusive release became a unique moment where the people who really wanted to hear Jay’s music collectively flocked to a supposedly outdated technology to enjoy it. It was a weird, communal moment. Flex went insane, as would be expected, and Jay—who rapped, on the album's seventh song, “Somewhere In America,” that “I might crash your internet/and I ain’t even into that”—was vindicated.

On Friday, when it seemed like the craziness surrounding the album was finally subsiding and we'd all be able to finally be enjoy or not enjoy the music in peace, famed Houston music producer Mike Dean, who's been helping both Jay and Kanye West on all their recent projects, sent the Internet into one last uproar. After another Kanye collaborator, Hudson Mohawke lobbed some light criticism at Jay’s album on Twitter, calling it "watery" and hampered by Jay's aversion to risk, Dean stepped in with what seemed a little too much like censorship for some people's comfort. "Why the negativity?" Dean asked. "We're all fam. [D]on't burn your bridge for WTT2.” And, yup, just like that, Mike Dean confirms that there will be a Watch The Throne 2. Because this week needed just a little more to talk about.

On to the next one...

—Max Goldberg

RELATED: Between the Lines: A Track by Track Breakdown of Jay-Z's "Magna Carta Holy Grail"

What The Hell Just Happened In Music This Week

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