34 Kobe Bryant Rap References for His 34th Birthday

Image via Complex Original

Song: Master P “Basketball” 

For those of you that don’t remember, Master P had contracts with both the Charlotte Hornets and Toronto Raptors. He never actually played a season but he did make a whole song about it. Clearly a Kobe mention was necessary.

Song: Asher Roth “Ampersand”

Apparently Asher Roth is strong and strikes like a basketball ball player—quietly of course. We always thought he was just a stoner that could freestyle on the right day.

Song: Justin Bieber f/ Jaden Smith “Never Say Never”

Justin Bieber isn’t a rapper, but Jaden Smith aka Will Smith’s son (sort of) is. Justin’s been on the cover of Complex—which makes him worthy of the list. And did we mention Jaden’s father is Will Smith? We did. Okay.

Song: Nas "Coon Picnic (These Are Our Heroes)”

Nas took shots at Kobe in 2004 on his track. Now, they’re partying at the London Olympics together.

Song: UGK “Still Ridin’ Dirty”

This mention comes in the form of an outro.  But the idea of insulting someone because they’re in a “Kobe Bryant” outfit is pretty funny. You can thank us for adding a new insult to your repertoire.  

Song: Punchline and Rass Kass “One on One”

Bushwick Bill of Geto Boys will never dunk on Kobe. Looks like Rass Kass will keep applying pressure.

Song: Soulja Boy “Bapes”

Seeing as the majority of the lyrics of this song are “I got me some Bathing Apes” really Soulja Boy saying anything else is welcomed. Even if he just compares his shoe colorway to Kobe Bryant’s jersey colorway.

Song: Ghostface Killah f/ Trife Da God And Solomon Childs “Grew Up Hard”

Trife Da God is responsible for this Kobe Bryant drop on “Grew Up Hard” which appears on Ghostface Killah’s More Fish. Kobe Bryant is ill with the ball and it’s what has made him a millionaire times a hundred, twice.

Song: Wale “Mama Told Me” 

“Mama Told Me” was the second track on Wale’s debut album Attention Deficit and that’s kind of all there is to say about it. Kobe has five championship rings. We’re not sure how bad it would be to look like Kobe Bryant, even if Chris Childs' fists got the best of him.

Song: Notorious B.I.G. f/ Nas “Living in Pain”

Nas really had a problem with this dude for a while, huh?

Song: Lloyd Banks f/ Juelz Santana “Beamer, Benz, or Bentley”

You don't have to be a champ to wear a ring, but really, who steps out wearing confetti?

Song: UGK f/ 8 Ball, MJG And E-40 “Used to Be”

Though strange to call it a “comeback,” the two seasons after Kobe’s 2004 rape case he led the league in scoring.

Song: M.I.A. f/ Azealia Banks And Missy Elliott “Bad Girls (N.A.R.S. Remix)”

Azealia Banks is the only female to make this list and actually the only female we’ve heard talk about the baller on a track (correct us if we’re wrong). Three basketball players, one frame. Azealia scores.

Song: Juelz Santana f/ Fabolous “So What’s It Gonna Be”

You've never scored 81 points in a single game, either. We know you're not Kobe Bryant, Juelz.

Song: Game “Cats and Dogs”

Game likes Kobe so much he pushed his The R.E.D. Album back so it would be released on the date of Kobe’s numbers 8 and 24 in 2011. That’s August 24 dummies. Though, in total Game rescheduled the release 10 times, so it may have just been an excuse to buy some more time.

Song:  Redman "Lights, Camera, Action” 

We'll definitely remember that, Reggie.

Song: Black Milk f/ Phat Kat “Lookatusnow”

Technically this one is more about the Lakers than it is about Kobe. In the 2006-07 season when Black Milk’s album Popular Demand that features “Lookatusnow” dropped, the Phoenix Suns bumped the Lakers out of the Western Conference finals first round. Kobe led the league in scoring though. So though Black Milk’s lyrics may come down on Kobe, it isn’t fully deserved.

Song: Lil Wayne "Kobe Bryant"

With sound bites from Kobe himself, Lil Wayne’s song titled after the basketball player is pretty much the ultimate ode to the LA Laker.

Song: Game “Remedy”

In a song all about L.A. it would be hard not to mention Kobe Bryant. The Game slots the Lakers player in by using a crack-to-basketball metaphor.

Song: The Roots f/ Beanie Sigel “Adrenaline” 

Every namedrop in that line, except Kobe, is so outdated. Kobe deserves some credit for sticking to one team.

Song: Lil Wayne f/ Big Tymers “Young Playa”

Now Weezy and his YMCMB fam bet $1 million games, not $100.

Song: Snoop Dogg “Hoop Dreams (He Got Game)”

“Hoop Dreams” all starts when Snoop Dogg has a dream about playing in the NBA. His version of the team has everyone from Tim Duncan to Gary Payton to Scottie Pippen to Allan Iverson and even Dr. Jay. His team also stars a young—seeing as he is still wearing the number 8—Kobe.

Song: Beyonce f/ Kanye West “Ego (Remix)”

An official remix with a high-end video and all, in Beyonce’s “Ego (Remix)” Ye’ lists Kobe as thee player he wanted to play in the NBA. Nowadays, Puff definitely knows who Kanye is, but no matter how big Yeeyz's ego gets, he’ll never play against Kobe.

Song: Jay-Z “Some People Hate”

Jay-Z manages to reference both an LA gangster and an LA basketball player and compliment himself in one line. Swoosh.

Song: Machine Gun Kelly f/ Steve-O, 2 Chainz, Meek Mill, Mystikal, French Montana & Yo Gotti “Wild Boy (Remix)”

2 Chainz did play basketball in college. These dudes should play one-on-one.

Song: Kendrick Lamar “The Heart Pt. 2”

Los Angeles rappers generally like Los Angeles-based athletes. In the “Heart Pt. 2” Kendrick Lamar drops a verse that doesn’t just say “I’m Kobe Bryant” and instead gives a quiet mention to Kobe’s jersey number.

Song: Ghostface Killah f/ Ne-Yo and Kanye West “Back Like That (Remix)”

A lot of the Kobe lyrics are just a name mention paired with a comparison to being great, on the “Back Like That (Remix)” Kanye manages to use the MVP’s name in a double entendre. You want to order kobe beef, but you don’t want any Kobe beef.

Song: Lil Wayne “Dough Is What I Got”

Well, to be fair, LeBron has a ring now, too.

Song: G-Unit "Bump Head Pt. 2"

If it wasn't for Lloyd Banks, there would be no "ball" innuendo on this list. We couldn't be more thankful for this hilarious, and accurate, line. What a lyricist.

Song: Kobe Bryant f/ Beanie Sigel, Black Thought, And Broady Boy “Philly’s Finest”

Beanie Sigel delivers one of the hardest lines about Kobe Bryant to date. Like Beanie Sigel, the Los Angeles shooting guard was born in Philadelphia. Kobe even makes an appearance on the track around three minutes in, but he’s a much better baller than rapper.

Song: Shaquille O’Neal “Freestyle”

In what might have been the height of the Kobe and Shaq beef, in this infamous freestyle Shaq takes shots at Kobe, which he ends off with “tell me how my ass tastes.” Though Shaq performed the song to a cheering crowd in a New York nightclub, Kobe took the high road and didn’t respond.  Though this may not be Kobe’s favorite lyric about himself, it probably inspired him to win two more championships after.

Song: T.I. f/ Kanye West, Jay-Z, & Lil Wayne “Swagga Like Us”

Kobe knew what he was doing when he changed his number to 24. So did 'Ye.

Song: Rick Ross f/ Drake And French Montana “Stay Schemin’”

This became one of the most parodied hip-hop lines this year, and maybe ever. Drake felt bad for Kobe, but turns out Kobe was okay—he didn’t lose the M’s or his chick. Bitch you wasn’t with him reconciling with Vanessa!

Song: Wiz Khalifa f/ Juicy J "Errday"

Being neighbors with Kobe Bryant is the pinnacle of success. When people tout their own worth by mere association with you, that's when you've made it. The line was so popular, that Juicy made his own "Who Da Neighbors" song based around it.