Twitter Detectives Use #WhoBitBeyonce To Track Down Beyoncé's Assailant

Please just tell us who it is, @ChrissyTeigen.

Beyonce #WhoBitBey
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Image via Getty/Wally Skalij

Beyonce #WhoBitBey

On Monday morning we all spit out our coffee after being served an enormous cup of scalding hot tea. In a GQ article about Tiffany Haddish, we found out that the goddess Beyoncé herself was bit on the face by an unidentified, crazed actress. "There was this actress there that's just, like, doing the mostest," Haddish said when recounting the December 2017 party incident. "She bit Beyoncé in the face...So Beyoncé stormed away, went up to Jay Z, and was like, 'Jay! Come here! This bitch!'— and snatched him."

You can’t expect the Beyhive to take news like this lying down. Cue the Law & Order theme song, because people on Twitter are using the hashtag #WhoBitBeyonce to find the culprit.

I’m starting a hashtag because I need to know: #WhoBitBeyonce ??? pic.twitter.com/069spGHQw1

— Miss Herkenroder (@iammissfaye) March 26, 2018

Twitter has narrowed it down to four possible suspects: Queen Latifah, Charlotte McKinney, Sanaa Lathan, and Sara Foster. Foster addressed the rumors on Instagram, making light of this very serious investigation.

A representative responded to claims that Sanaa Lathan is the alleged biter. “That's nuts and I think if this happened we would have known then,” they told Business Insider.

Chrissy Teigen apparently knows, but isn’t going to tell us (please, Chrissy!).

My initial guess was wrong. The real person? I *never* would have guessed. I’VE SAID TOO MUCH

— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 26, 2018

Meanwhile, Bey probably remains as unbothered as usual. The singer reportedly spent her weekend shopping at Target for some Easter goods with Blue Ivy.

Sooooooo I saw Beyoncé at work today... pic.twitter.com/xFnd9kBObJ

— A. (@ana_cabanaa) March 25, 2018

I have no doubt that the Beyhive will get to the bottom of this crime. Let the investigation continue.

"What are you working on?"

Me: I've figured out the location of the crime and have narrowed the #WhoBitBeyonce suspect list down to 3 actresses

"But what about your stor-"

I AM A DETECTIVE NOW

— Sylvia (@SylviaObell) March 26, 2018

the beyhive after finding out #WhoBitBeyonce https://t.co/i7CuGumhKi

— emily ♡ (@holybeystan) March 26, 2018

Dear Special Counsel Mueller,

I know you’re busy trying to safeguard Democracy. And you’ve been doing a really great job. But, if you have time, we’d love your talents to be focused on #WhoBitBeyonce.

We need to know.

Sincerely,

America

— Jeremy D. Thompson (@Reelpolitik) March 26, 2018

Some facts we know:

-Chrissy Tiegen has heard things and she knows the person involved is "terrible."

-Beyoncé said "the bitch is on drugs."

-Tiffany Haddish felt like she could whoop that ass.#WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/qGN5LoQkMn

— KNTY4 Correspondent 👨🏾‍💼🐝 (@joshhottness) March 26, 2018

Whoever bit Beyoncé is looking like this today. #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/V9eiavpyuq

— Margaret Haywood (@NsyncKitten) March 26, 2018

Me locked in a study room in the library on my 6th cup of coffee trying to figure out #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/p9IVyCLA9l

— kiah optima (@kiah_noel) March 26, 2018

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