Who knew T-Swift had bars? I barely listen to her shit and, man, did she have some things to say on her latest album Reputation. I like to call them #bitterbars. I guess she's always had bars, judging by her massive success over the years, but her recent run-ins with men—whether in her love life or a well-documented feud with Kanye West—she has some venom, and also some kind words for her boyfriend who's younger than her old boyfriend.
The album has some heat, but the question remains: is it better than Watch The Throne? We wanted to see how she matches up with Jay-Z, and her mortal enemy Kanye West. I'm not gonna hold y'all for too long because you already know what time it is: Is Reputation better than Watch the Throne?
“...Ready for It?” vs. “No Church in the Wild”
Taylor thought she was giving us bars on here, she really did. Not more bars than Jigga, Kanye, and Frank on “No Church in the Wild,” though. And the “...Ready for It?” beat sounds like a Yeezus throwaway down to its obvious flip. The Throne wins this one easily.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift bars:
“Every love I've known in comparison is a failure
I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now
Never be the same now”
“End Game” vs. “Lift Off”
This is better than “Lift Off” because Future is on it and nobody likes “Lift Off.” Also, this is a bad attempt at a hip-hop song, Taylor, but it kinda bangs?
Winner:Reputation
Bitter T-Swift bars:
“Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy
I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me”
“I Did Something Bad” vs. “Niggas in Paris”
Not gonna lie to you, “I Did Something Bad” kinda, sorta bangs on the lowest of keys. Still not trying to hear this shit 30 times in a row at the Garden. Especially when Taylor is acting as if Kim and 'Ye didn’t have the ultimate receipt in the form of a recorded phone call. You are a witch, ma. The Throne wins this one.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift bars:
“They're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one
They got their pitchforks and proof, their receipts and reasons
They're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one
So light me up”
“Don’t Blame Me” vs. “Otis”
Shellback and Max Martin sure know how to make something that goes, but this shit still doesn’t go how “Otis” goes. And we only listen to the Funk Flex version of “Otis” on this side. T-Swizzle can’t compete with that.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift bars:
“I've been breakin' hearts a long time
And toyin' with them older guys
Just playthings for me to use”
“Delicate” vs. “Gotta Have It”
Taylor is on “Delicate” singing about some sneakerhead she met at a dive bar? No thanks. On the other hand, Hov and Ye are trading bars like LeBron and Dwyane Wade throwing each other alley-oops off the glass. The Throne by 21.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift Bars:
“My reputation's never been worse
So you must like me for me…”
“Look What You Made Me Do” vs. “New Day”
I’m gonna go with “New Day” here because it’s not a bitter ode to their enemies. Instead, it’s an introspective ode to their unborn children who, six years later, are here to bring these bars into existence. Another one for the Throne.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift Bars:
The whole fucking song.
“So It Goes…” vs. “That’s My Bitch”
Taylor wishes her MCM made a song like “That’s My Bitch” for her, tbh. I bet they played this at the bar where she met him. The Throne gets the win for that hypothetical alone.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift Bars:
“I'm so chill, but you make me jealous”
“Gorgeous” vs. “Welcome to the Jungle”
What’s good with Taylor and older guys? That first verse is filled with bitter bars, my God. “Welcome to the Jungle” wins, though, because that beat, just listen to that beat.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift Bars:
“You should take it as a compliment
That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk
You should think about the consequence
Of your magnetic field being a little too strong
And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us
He's in the club doing I don't know what
You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much
I hate you so much”
“Getaway Car” vs. “Who Gon Stop Me”
Wow, T-Swift is a snitch. She is cancelled. Jigga and Ye would never. “Who Gon Stop Me” wins this one in a blowout.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift Bars:
“We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde
Until I switched to the other side
It's no surprise I turned you in
'Cause us traitors never win"
“King of My Heart” vs. “Murder to Excellence”
Do you think Taylor has ever really heard Motown, or did she just listen to Motown? There’s a difference. Either way, the Throne wins this one pretty handily.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift Bars:
“I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own
I made up my mind, I'm better off bein' alone
We met a few weeks ago
Now you try on callin' me
Baby, like tryin' on clothes”
“Dancing with Our Hands Tied” vs. “Made in America”
Taylor isn’t bitter at all on this track, so she gotta hold this L.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift Bars:
N/A
“Dress” vs. “Why I Love You”
It would’ve been dope to match up Taylor’s bitter bars against Jay and Kanye’s bitter bars. They’re both going through it in terms of dealing with disloyalty in their respective circles. The Throne wins because of honest bars and because the beat is better.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift Bars:
N/A
“This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” vs. “Illest Motherfucker Alive”
Damn, Taylor is hella bitter that Kanye just so happens to be the illest motherfucker alive and can’t believe that someone so ill would record a private phone conversation. Honestly, get over it, OK? You lied and made Kanye look like the good guy which is a tall task. The Throne wins this one.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift Bars:
“It was so nice being friends again
There I was, giving you a second chance
But then you stabbed in the back while shaking my hand
And therein lies the issue
Friends don't try to trick you
Get you on the phone and mind-twist you
And so I took an axe to a mended fence”
“Call It What You Want” vs. “H.A.M”
I have no clue why Taylor chose to be bitter in the opening verse of “Call It What You Want” while the rest of the song is about her baby. She’s the Ric Flair of bitterness and she’s having a hard time keeping her bittergators down. “H.A.M” wins.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift Bars:
“My castle crumbled overnight
I brought a knife to a gunfight
They took the crown, but it's alright
All the liars are calling me one
Nobody's heard from me for months
I'm doin' better than I ever was”
“New Year’s Day” vs. “Primetime”
Aww, this is a sweet song about Taylor sticking by her man’s side no matter what. I was here for the #bitterbars, though. So we have to go with “Primetime” because it bangs is it’s pro-black and well…nevermind.
Winner:Watch the Throne
Bitter T-Swift Bars:
N/A
So there you have it, folks. Watch the Throne beats Reputation in a blowout 14-1, not counting "The Joy." Super Slimey and Without Warning put up better fights. The Throne remains undefeated.
