In a perfect world, our snooze of a national anthem would be replaced with a new Quavo, Travis Scott, Selena Gomez, SZA, John Mayer, and Travis Barker collaboration produced by Metro Boomin and Mike Will Made-It. In this idyllic alternate reality, we would also bulldoze all Confederate eyesores to make room for statues of Missy Elliott.

Clearly, we don't live in this world. That's why we have impassioned petitions, like the one from a community organizer in Minnesota calling for a Christopher Columbus statue to be booted in favor of a Prince monument.

Wintana Melekin's petition to Gov. Mark Dayton and the Minnesota State Legislature makes a highly convincing argument for ridding the region of Columbus ugliness.

"Here in Minnesota, communities are reigniting the demand to bring down state's monument to Christopher Columbus, a man who murdered, raped, and enslaved Black and Native peoples in the Americas," Melekin writes. "We, the undersigned, do not believe that Columbus represents the values Minnesotans carry. Rather than glorify a man who wanted to extinguish Black and Native peoples, we should honor members of our community whose leadership we find inspirational." At the time of this article's publication, the petition—which has recently received a great deal of media attention—had garnered more than 3,000 signatures and a wave of supportive comments.

"Did Christopher Columbus drop a 13x platinum album?" one signee noted. "No. No he did not."

Another signee made a more direct comparison: "so a genocidal maniac or an actual Minnesotan who did a lot for the state? Come on. It's the choice between love and hate."

This petition needs your name. Sign it here.